I refuse to go see Transformers partially because I don’t give a fuck about those kinds of movies and haven’t seen the first one, but also because I don’t like the public humiliation of sitting in that theater amongst a whole lot of loser virgin dudes, because I like being around vagina. That’s why I’m into going to those Highschool Musical, Bring It On, Miley Cyrus jams, because that’s where you get looked at like a sex offender by all the 14 year olds and their parents, and if you’re lucky, they don’t notice you jerkin off.

That said, this Isabel Lucas whore blew me the fuck away, she looks good, and is a solid strategy to seduce the loser virgins into buying the DVD and hitting the theaters again, over and over, until they realize that no matter how many times they see the shit, bitch isn’t gonna jump out of the screen and go home with them. Word.

I blame celebrities for making a lot of stupid shit popular. One of those things is expensive bottled water that assholes feel the need to drink in public to look like they are ballin’. I remember last summer seeing Fiji water in every asshole kid’s hand at 4 dollars a bottle, then Fiji became too normal for showboating assholes that they went with Voss at 10 dollars a bottle or something insane like that.

Now I realize that rich kids are assholes who get free money to do what they want with and I realize that poor people that are trying to maintain some kind of rich image because they think that shit gets them respect are assholes too, but I also realize that drinking bottled water is for fucking homo’s, If you’re dehydrated from a night of drinking, there’s nothing wrong with hitting up the water fountain at the local bus stop, you can probably land some teenage runaway pussy there, who is impressed if you buy her a fuckin’ chocolate bar because she hasn’t eaten in a week, but when you’re dropping more money on water than something with booze in it, you’re clearly a fuckin asshole too because bottled water will not get you pussy.

Here are pictures of Lohan drinking some Whole Foods house brand water, and despite Whole Foods sounding like some pretentious hippie lesbian organic shit, I can only assume this water isn’t anything designer and is the equivalent of wearing a pair of sneakers that you got a Wal Mart because you suck at life.