This story always makes me laugh becuase Woody Allen lived out a joke I used to have where I’d go to the adoption office and tell them I want to adopt a 16 year old but she has to be hot because I intend of fucking her and making her my sex slave by showing her pictures of the poor war torn country that I will send her back to if she doesn’t start serviing me…..they generally don’t entertain my requests…but somehow Woody Allen lived that shit out, not because he fucked his adopted daughter, but because he fucked his wife’s adopted daughter he was a father figure to, and the whole thing is confusing, especially after seeing what the bitch he molested and caused a scandal over looks like….I mean if she had fat tits and a hot ass, I’d get it…but this looks like the bitch at my convenience store….no racist.,
I understand that Woody Allen is not quite a looker, but he’s some obscure Jewish rich guy who people consider some kind of artist, or even a legend and that usually attracts hot actor pussy trying to get ahead in the industry or hot model pussy trying to get into acting or to be seen as his “muse”, but for some reason he chose this…and the whole thing is real confusing…cuz she’s ugly…I think he’s just doing it to make his perverted slip-up when he got caught fucking her seem less perverted because he stuck it out with her cuz it was real love….I’m pretty sure that’s the reality….cuz the rumor is he was fucking her when she was 7 and that’s something you don’t need re-visiting you – so keep the bitch happy and at bay and everything will blow over cuz she’s won’t throw her “husband” under the bridge for molesting her..so you better fucking marry it and pretend…cuz jail isn’t fun….it’s simple pervert logic…
Naked pictures of Seth Green’s wife is doing the rounds and if you’re wondering why any self respectful woman who moved to Hollywoods in hope of fame because she believed she had what it took to be the next big thing, but realized that for every young starlet, there’s thousands of aspiring losers competing for low level jobs they hope will get them notice or at least on camera….and some even agree to do nude pictures on their quest for fame to pay their rent, while other’s date obscure actors who can only get groupie pussy with a dream, and people like Clare Grant do both…
That’s not to say that a rich, famous, awkward Seth Green shouldn’t get pussy becuase all famous people always have a pipeline of fucking pussy, but it is to say if he wasn’t famous or rich and just the funny kid in the back of her high school class, she wouldn’t have given him the time of day or even consider let him go down on her for hours at a time cuz he’s excited life has worked out for his dork self…
So here she is naked, cuz that’s what Desperate fame whores do before they get into the right circles and meet the right people who find them hot and who they trap and marry when they have the chance to get them to a higher profile…and the whole thing is pretty fucking obvious…
I wouldn’t have expected Dave Matthews to have prime pussy since he’s pretty much irrelevant. Sure every single Jewish girl and hippie at camp I’ve ever met loves his shit….but he’s still not Lady Gaga….I know that just because he’s on TV, he could probably rake in a few tighter bodied groupies than this slophole, but really and you’d think he could get himself a better quality wife…
I mean he struggled through getting a record deal, touring, recording fucking groupies all these years on his rise to whatever level of fame he has now, and he ended up with this and all I know is that if I was him, this would be like a huge fuck you on my life despite all the success he’s had or how much money he has in the bank…he still has to wake up to this shit or come home to this shit…
The only explanation for this is that he knocked her up and is trying to do the good thing because she doesn’t believe in abortions when you get pregnant by rich people in bands….
People seem to care so much about these earthquakes predicting the end of the world that hit Haiti and Chile, but they don’t seem to care so much about Michael J. Fox, even though everyday feels like an earthquake to him…so maybe we need a Tsunami warning, cuz even I know earthquakes in water cause Tsunamis….
Except maybe today, because here he is in picture of Michael J. Fox following his wife of 30 years on the beach living large, showing the paparazzi that he’s still got it, but showin’ off his magic fingers, thanks to Parkinsons making him a human vibrator, behind her back, letting us know he’s still got it, without her even knowing he’s showin’ off his pussy….
If anything, I’m pretty sure he called the paparazzi, to just show off, clear things up for his disease, cuz like all disabled people, the public starts treating you differently, and forget that you can get good pussy, even if it married you before you were disabled and feels trapped and like it has to stay with you to not look like an evil person, but like my friend in a wheel chair, Michael J. Fox is all about milking the pussy he gets and making it clear that not everyone suffering from the shit is 90 years old in a home, but can be in their 40s with pretty solid bodied 40 year old pussy he just needs to stand next to to make her cum. He’s like riding the fucking washing machine…
That said, part of me loves one-piece bathing suits, not because they remind me of little kids at swim class, but because sometimes they hide the stretch marks and unappealing shit a bikini doesn’t hide and I’ve got a serious love for anything that can touch pussy, tits and ass at the same time, even if it is just a piece of clothing.
I’m so hungover, I can’t stop shaking…no wait…I’m not shaking…I’m just looking at pictures of Michael J. Fox and I think that I am cuz he is, I’m sure he gets that all the time…you know people who are talking to him who don’t know he’s the youngest man in history to have parkinsons, and as he vibrates like a human sex toy that has kept his wife around the last 15 years he’s had the disease, because she realized a disability, if looked at in the right way can be a serious ability, or maybe this is just one of Hollywood’s great love stories, of a couple who dated on set of an 80s sitcom, who haven’t left each other’s side since, because they are soul mates, or because his wife is maternal and can’t leave a motherfucker just cuz he got sick and has been progressively getting worse like some kind of saint who really just doesn’t want to look evil, like his disease has her trapped, kinda like when I used to want to get AIDS to give to this hot girl so she would never leave my side, but a little less psycho…
See, I’ve got nothing but love for Michael J. Fox. I feel for him for being so fucked up at such a young age, like an 80 year old in a 40 year old’s body or some shit but at least he’s living the good life on the beach in St Barth, but more importantly, at least his wife has maintained a pretty fucking good body into her forties, despite being a mom and having stopped acting to be a mom. It always impresses me when women with kids and husbands aren’t disgusting and fat. Maybe it’s cuz I’m not used to it….
As a bonus, here’s a little clip of Michael J. Fox scoring Tracey on Family Ties, this is where the love all started and like all great romantic moments, this song seems to come to mind whenever I’m thinking about rape. Inspiring.
Either way, here is the happy couple on the beach…
Corey Feldman reminds us all that no matter how much of loser you may look like you are, if you have a career as a child star everyone loved 20 years ago, when you dominated the 80s and the teen pop magazines pedophiles jerk off to, you still find some low level, slutty enough, short skirt wearing pussy to give you the time of day, and by time of day I mean dirty fucking sex, because dating you is a hell of a lot more fun than hanging on your co-worker at Subway couch watching him and his friends play videogames and beer pong, cuz you know you’re far more premium than that….whore.
He is the French Elvis. I don’t know any of his music because I deal with enough french people every fucking day of my life, that I try to avoid the shit, but I do know that his young groupie wife is getting manhandled by an LA Laker naked Didier Jlunga-Mbenga, and you can almost see up her skirt….
I guess Hallyday has one of those black on blonde fetishes, you know since he’s old and his dick most likely doesn’t work, he likes to recruit the biggest, blackest African he can find to rail the shit out the bitch so that she learns her lesson and can’t walk for a fucking week, maybe to keep her from whining and begging and annoying Hallyday to use his mouth on her groupie ass or maybe because he’s into that shit like so many other dudes are….and I guess I shouldn’t really give a shit considering you probably have no idea who this fucker is cuz I don’t and I do this shit all day.
Florida lookin’ trash Dog the Bounty Hunter’s wife has pretty big tits. Sure she’s a fat pig of a woman, but seriously, she could be a fat pig of a woman with small tits, making her almost worth jerking off to, and the real nice thing about them is that she’s given her disgusting fat tits a name “BeBe”, amazing. It is people like her who have double breastedly changed the biggest bra size in the lingerie section at Sears, or Wal Mart, where I always seem to find myself, from DD to F’s and fucking G’s and despite never really understanding my friends being all about the big tits, no matter what the rest of the body looks like, because I have a fat wife and know that any tit can’t compensate for the filth I hae to put up with, but I’d make the exception for this whore, cuz I feel like switching my sexual fantasies up as the whole hot bodied, tight teenage girls is played out….and trust me when i say, I don’t actually mean that.
You know that when this girl first got fucked by Bruce Willis and by fucked I mean when he hired her to be his escort for the night, not to say that she’s a whore, but to say that she definitely stuck around because he is a rich hollywood star, pretty much making her a whore, just not the conventional kind you find on the teeth begging to suck your dick for 5 dollars, she called everyone she knew and told them some “You’ll never believe who I just fucked” and from that day on she plotted how she was going to keep motherfucker trapped. She probably sat there and figured out strategy. First she put all her negative qualities, her neediness, her bitchiness and nagging that her last boyfriends dumped her over and decided that she wouldn’t let any of that shine, she knew she needed to be that perfect girl, that why he’d marry her and she’d never have to work again, so if anything, this would be her job, this would be her focus, all her energy would be to make this meal-ticket happen, and by the looks of it, it worked.
The big news to housewives and single middle aged women today is that Grey’s Anatomy star just quit the show and they’ve been forced to retire their vibrators on whatever nigth it is on, to do something else with their time, like emotionally eat the loss away.
The big news to me is that he married a black girl 15 years ago and they have 5 kids together. That’s on some next level shit cuz I can’t even get black girls to talk to me when in line at KFC together and I make awkward conversation about how good a deal this crazy tuesday 2 dollar chicken is….
This is some big shot Football Manager I’ve never heard of and the vagina he fucks and who he may possibly be married to in a bikini. His name is Gareth Southgate and I’ve never heard of him because people who kick a ball around like a bunch of pansies who can’t throw punches to get what they fuckin want and it all seems like a serious waste of fucking time, not that I do anything better, but running back and forth seems a lot like a hamster in a fucking wheel…and the only real question I have is why this guy didn’t use his money to bring a nicer lookin’ body to Barbados, leaving this one at home to take care of the kids, where she belongs.
There’s some electronic music I like and a lot that I hate. Bob Sinclair is the cheesy dance music I fucking hate. It’s not so much him or the success he’s seen. But more the people he leads.
He is the leader of the Ed Hardy movement and in Montreal at least, the king of the chachi motherfuckers. Whenever his songs about feeling the love, or worlds going on, these lame motherfuckers start screaming and dumping their bottles of vodka on hot stupid girls, who don’t know better, because the media tells them this kind of behavior is ok to imitate, all while rocking 200 dollar T-shirts they buy with their parent’s credit card.
Here’s Bob Sinclair’s wife in a bikini, because I can only assume she’s some Euro trash coke slut he met in Ibiza while she was DJ Whoring her way to the fuckin’ top. Sure he’s got a great lifestyle, partying all night, traveling the world for free, fucking hot partysluts, but that doesn’t mean he’s good or cool according to me and I’m sure that really upsets him…Enjoy.
You know what the world is missing…more Jim Belushi coverage. I did used to watch that According to Jim bulushit, it was on 3 times a day around 5 years ago when it first hit nd I only had one channel, but I did want to fuck the wife on the show, but that was a different era.
I heard recently that this shit is still on the air, which I found shocking, because it was pretty shitty back then and can only be a lot shittier now, but I guess a lot of blue collar, suburban people can relate. have a hard time believing that anyone would waste their time watching it, and that it’s just hanging on a fucking thread, but I am pretty sure that’s the basis of his career, you know trying to shine in his brother’s shadow.
I guess what I am trying to say is that along with his wife on his show, I’d also fuck his real life wife, so I guess the jokes on us and this motherfucker’s living the life since you can always tell a man’s success by the size of his gut and the tightness of his wife’s body…
I don’t know her name, I don’t care about her name, but I do know why Slash married her, and that’s because of her quirky fashion sense, I mean just look at her dressed like a court jester or Heath Ledger as the Joker, and by court jester or Heath Ledger as the Joker, I mean, she’s got big tits.
I wonder how much rock cock this slut had to take in her before one finally got stuck in her gluey vagina….you know gluey like that time you jerked off in a jar for a couple of months and kept by your bed to see what would happen to it…before your mom made you throw it out because it was starting to stink…only her instead of a jar, a group of guys did it to her pussy. Get it?
Nothing says “Let’s Make Boom Boom” like a pocket full of Vietnamese Dong (the currency not the penis). I mean I know guys who have recruited these South East Asians to do some of the craziest sexual stunts all for promises of the good life that will get them off their family junk (the boat not their genitals).
I know guys who have spent months upon months traveling Thailand and Vietnam, some would opt for the serious Girlfriend Experience that doesn’t work on an hourly rate like it does here, but most would try to exploit them to do the dirtiest things imaginable, sometimes to underage boys and girls all for under 10 US dollars.
So these dudes would get caught up in the whole thing, because they were living like fucking kings with a harem, and they never get this kind of female attention back home and forgot they were dealing with actual sex workers, and confused it for love, until they would wake up one day and their “girlfriends” had cleared out the place, stealing all their money and plane ticket home after garnering their trust, by pretending they weren’t fuckin’ whores who were out for themselves and that they were in fact there for the long haul. You have to be a fucking idiot to not be able to recognize a whore for a whore especially in the third fucking world where these girls have been doin’ this since they were 7.
Now, add about 8 billion dollars to your pocket full of dong and you’re troll ass can land some serious Asian prostitutes I doubt Rupert Murdoch cares because he’s old and he’s probably having some of the most experimental sex that makes him feel like the star his bank account makes him think he is, like piss and shit play, anal insertion, being strapped to a harness in the basement for days at a time only to be let out for a spanking, but who knows, all I know is the more powerful the John is in his everyday life, the weirder his fetishes and demands behind closed doors become…
