Mayra Suarez is a ridiculously hot Mexican model who has been both a Target girl and on the cover of Glamour…and now she’s gone and leaked some amazingly hot self shot pics that I love…to the internet…to let us all know who she is…cuz before today I had no idea…and even today I can’t confirm whether they are actually her or not…I just found them in the stepFORUM so that makes them authetic enough for me….

It’s funny being Mexican how I used to hate seeing Mexicans whore themselves out for the white man, like my mother used to do, hence my conception….but that’s probably cuz the Mexicans I would see whoring out didn’t look anything like this…I need more of this bitch…I wanna guacamole all over her face….word.

You may remember Tawny Kitaen for being the nasty bitch in Whitesnake’s Here I Go Again Video….cuz she was married to the motherfucker…

You may remember her as the co-host of America’s funniest people….

But I remember her as the washed up 50 year old coke slut who posted a pic of her dog and her nipple on twitter…cuz the glory days of being some rock and role groupie…who banged Tommy Lee, O.J Simpson, Jerry Seinfeld and Jon Stewart….prior to this twitpic for attention shit….

Arianny Celeste is only a name cuz she is used to make the UFC less homo erotic…even though throwing a bitch into the mix hardly puts a dent in the homo eroticism….and now her tits you’ve all been too busy getting excited forman on man grind to notice…is in Complex looking pretty fucking hot…and that’s all I have to say about that..

I get that Lady Gaga is the surprise period stain on white pants while on an excursion that has no stops for a few hours of our lives….if that makes sense….and I get that we all call her a monster…but the truth is she’s just an insecure loser girl who made it….and this obscure “artist” who happens to coincidentally be mainstream when no real obscure artist ever becomes mainstream unless he is a fabricated mockery of an obscure artist intended to make a team of people money…is just proof that there was a time she was just a hipster loser reading VICE MAGAZINE….trying to find herself….who was into American Apparel and Terry Richardson pictures….you know a loser fucking hipster….that now calls up on Terry Richardson as a groupie since they are now “friends” both milking each other cuz that’s how Hollywood friendships work….and I am sure Terry Richardson must love it…free exposure…..but I find it offensvie….cuz Gaga topless on the streets needs to be arrested…shot and killed….and her body paraded around the town square….

If you like your topless for fashion models who aren’t even that hot because they got to be in this game due to nepotism to be of the lineage of legendary American writers….then Dree Hemingway in these pics is for you…

Sure her tits are shit and apparently she’s fucking ugly in person, but when Great Grampy is Ernest Hemingway all that doesn’t matter….you can pretty much get away with it….

All that richness that comes with being part of an iconic Americana family, get you far…so you might as well embrace it and be a socialite about it…take advantage of it cuz you’re lucky enough to have it and not have to work a real job, cuz you’re getting paid for nonsense, like people telling you you’re prettier than you are, while keeping your family happy that you’re not just milking your trust fund like the rest of them….you have actual purpose and vision….you’re an artist…bullshit…

I am not a Momsen hater cuz Momsen turned 18. I will still look at her in her panties…unlike most of her pedophile fan base who turned their back and zipped their dicks back into their pants the second she became legal and fell out sex offender range….cuz I guess these people get off on the illegal factor…while I get off on the fact that she could have stayed on TV making lots of money…but instead opted to be a bitch making music in her panties…in what would almost be insane…if the whole fact that Taylor Momsen even had the power to choose a pop career or a movie career while so many hotter more talented bitches can’t even get one of those things…wasn’t more insane….and who really cares…cuz she’s in her panties and we like that around these parts….

Not to discount Adriana Lima’s hot mom body that is better than most mom bodies…even the mom bodies I see leaving the gym that have been working out insanely the last 3 years to keep their rich husbands interested in them bodies…but almost any bitch who isn’t overweight in heels like that is gonna look like she’s got amazing legs and a great ass…even if they don’t…it’s the magic of heels motherfucker…but I know this Lima bitch is pro…and here she is getting paid for the shit…and as hot as you may find it…the whole baby thing throws me off…I mean Lima at 19 was a force…if she was a storm, she’d be Katrina…now she’s just a breezy day….a reflection of what she once was….and that’s the problem with models…they are only human and they get old.

I don’t know why companies feel compelled to give these models a voice…like the public cares to hear from them…when all we want to do is look at them…

Cuz the second I hear these bikini model cunts talk….I instantly hate them and their pudgy retard face…..it’s like their sex appeal disappears and I start thinking if I was actually to fuck this bitch, I’d have to listen to her talk, making jerking off to her tits, more stressful than it should be…especially since it is hard enough dealing with the fact that she’s gonna end up fat….

Just keep them doing what they were hired to do…posing like idiots half naked for a camera so we can imagine they are whoever we want them to be…instead of listening to them talk making us hate them and everything they represent….

Bring the focus back to her disproportionate tits…fuckers…

Madonna’s showing off her body and still pretending she’s Marilyn Monoroe cuz she’s pretty much old enough to be Marilyn Monroe…you know she’s got to that stage of her senior citizenship where it doesn’t matter if she’s 60 or 140….she’s not hot…or erotic…and even in little clothes we know her body is drooping, practically dripping off her….vagina lips flapping in the wind….but here’s her pre-Superbowl….Football inspired…video with Nicki Minaj’s big tits to give her appeal to the youth and M.I.A to keep it hip….making them her cheerleaders to make her seem above them….because the timing is right, she’s in the media…she’s an empire..this is money making..and I’m posting cuz I appreciate all whores trying to be sexy …especially when they are historically known for being sluts…even scandalous sex icons in the 80s….cuz it shows they have trouble letting go…they’re a little pathetic…but grannies in panties are hysterical…..enjoy…

Kelly Brook’s tits were shown off in a bra for some magazine I’ve never heard of…..and I liked it…cuz big cleavage with a natural set of tits is one of life’s pleasures….all fertile and ready to feed a tribal village…just as soon as I’m done with them…kinda thing….ideally the lactation comes from before the miscarriage….cuz I’m not ready to be a father…I’m more of a stepfather….and none of that matters…cuz there are tits to be stared at….

Now here’s a hot instagram picture of Kelly Brook in some amazing leather leotard…and thigh high athletic socks…like she’s not in her mid 30s…like she didn’t just have a miscarriage/abortion while showing us her pussy lip….like she is at her peak and is going to ride that out as hard as she can…while I watch…cuz this kinda shit is erotic to me….mainly cuz her leotard touches her pussy, asshole, tities all at once…amazing…

Here she is on the beach in Ibizia…not sure when…but looking nice and fat assed….cuz big natural tits usually come stock with that….

You’d think being the low level celebrities Ashley Tisdale and Vanessa Hudgens are…they wouldn’t have to do Duck Face, they’d have facial expression coaches and make-up artists to prevent a face I’ll never understand….mainly because it never looks good…

I just assume the bitches doing it think it pouts their lips, and gives them good texture by stretching them out the right way…all big lipped ig eyed big dreams….but it looks like they are high school girls prepping a Myspace profile back when Myspace still existed….

Guys want O-Face…or Dick Sucking Face…or Cum on My Face Face…we don’t want this shit…even when we get that Tisdale is a monster and should be walking around with a burlap sack on her head…but that’s no fucking excused…..

BONUS
Here are some pics of Vanessa Hudgens on Jay Leno the other day….She’s not wearing a short enough skirt for me to see her panties that her 5 o’clock shadow cuz she’s a hairy little monkey who needs to shave her vagina twice a day…and we know this cuz we’ve all seen it…and liked it…cuz pubic hair makes us feel like men….but I’ll post the pics anyway…

I love how Lana Del Rey, a youtube sensation who is going to be the next thing in pop music, is so happy to be getting positive attention that she hangs around awkwardly with these fans for a long time, not quite sure where else to go or why she’s standing there, only for the fans to even ask “Hey Lana why are you being so nice to us, this is weird”…..for her to respond awkwardly “cuz I fucking love you”….sounding like a drunken college coed ready to try anal for the first time….

I am amazed by Lana Del Rey…both her lip and her internet success…she has been the first fabricated artist I think they’ve packaged in an amazing way…she’s got this lounge singing voice, an old Hollywood vibe, but really she’s just a rich kid with a dream with a dad trying to keep her out of trouble…everything paid for…but clearly it works…the songs are bullshit, but catchy and better than any lady gaga shit I’ve heard…so as much as I want to hate her for being a talentless hack in a halloween costume with a fake lip…I just kinda want to fuck her…

So she gets a lot of hate cuz she can’t sing….she’s more of a melodic talker like this french waitress I had the other day “what CAN i GET Youuuuuuu”….. all studio tweaking….and her SNL performance proved her inability……

Clearly cleaned up for her Letterman performance that she’s probably been practicing with all the best coaches in the industry cuz after 60,000,000 youtube views…her record label expects her to be a real money maker….so nothing but the best coaches for her…

Full of shit or not…I still want to fuck her….up the ass…to see just how full of shit she is…but I’d settle for pics of her naked/in a bikini/fucking…someone needs to bring it…an ex boyfriend…her PR people…someone…

Here she is Showing Ass in Vogue….

I am not the kind of guy who’s into girls cumming…because it means they are having too much fun with me…and no girl…not even the most desperate should ever be that into letting me inside her…it makes me unable to enjoy myself…knowing she’s that crazy in her head…but I like the concept of a bitch cumming…maybe cuz I am convinced it is a myth…that it never happens…that it doesn’t fucking exist…or maybe cuz I know that when it does happen…the girl is likely doing it to herself…in her bath, shower, bed…and that’s hot….but not as hot as when they do it by getting naked and taking pictures for me to experience it with them…see cuz I’m a voyeur…but unfortunately the only naked pictures of bitches I get to see are models who do it for fashion and money…and I guess it’s not all bad…even if I prefer the homemade kind…cuz without them…I’d never know what hotness looks like unclothed….

Her name is Eliza Cummings…she’s naked for a fashion shoot….she’s an up and coming model…doing good to get noticed…here are the pics.

I have decided that I like my celeb bikini pics with a narrator…..but only because the paparazzi agencies hate the fuck out of me and if I was to post these on my site without paying them their 1000 dollars or more…they’d try to sue me and I don’t need that kind of drama since life has already sued me and taken me for all I’ve got…so now I have my bikini pictures in video with some asshole trying to sound like TMZ, something I hate more than most things, cuz the irritating get under my skin and makes me want to do crazy things, like find the asshole with this voice and rip his throat out, or welcome these suicidal thoughts with open arms…”hello old friend, yes, let me come with you to avoid the fact that assholes like this exist”….kinda thing…..

Yes I know these pics are from the other day, I do this thing all day asshole…I just wasn’t allowed to post them….

My best friend who never writes, calls, waves, or messenger pigeons me over at COPYRANTER finally came out of hiding after at least 18 months of ignoring my tender email touch…..with a link to this video from some communist helmet company promoting helmet the right…