Man's 'failure' (girls answer please)

[Anonymous]

I am together with my girlfriend for quite some time now (2 years a long distance relationship seeing eachother one week a month) and I was never able to give her an orgasm .. (yes shame on me i know). Ok this sounds bad but i would like to know if i am really the only one to blame.

My girlfriend finds her pussy digusting! She NEVER played with it before. Even washing properly is a nightmare for her! She is NEVER horny and when I 'play' with it she just runs away because it tickles too much. I tried everything. Once in the bathtub I even forced her to take the hard beam of the shower head for quite some time and she just started crying!!!

I tried slow, hard, clit, g-spot, licking (she actually doesn't want it as she finds it disgusting), ... only with the hand, when we were having sex, gently, hard, once (happened more often but remember this time now) i was fucking her for 40 minutes without stopping at a serious rate and still no succes!!! The best i get is ... stop i feel like peeing :( or hey this is too hard

So girls, you know best, what do you think? Am I the only one to blame? Any other hints? ;)

[el_victorino]

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Send her back to the Real Doll factory and trade her in for a different model.

[Foetus]

have her dress up as Viggo Mortensen in The Lord Of The Rings and youll probably fuck her harder, and that might get her off. Im sure youll cum harder anyway

[skywalker]

she is sexually repressed. She has some deep emotional issues that prevents her from being comfortable w/ her sexuality. She is not going to change w/ out years of therapy. There is nothing you can do like touch her in the right spot that is going to make a damn bit of difference. either accept it or move on.

Dr Phil out

or do what Foetus said, that always works for me, sometime I like Dumbledore from Harry potter too!

[Anonymous]

Sorry Mr. H., it's just you :(

[n2tattoos.lol]

what the fuck are you complaining about! who cares if she has an orgasm. get yours and get the fuck off.

and stop being such a fucking pussy.

[satan666]

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hahah Fo realz :D

[Foetus]

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no shit! next thing you know, he will start a thread asking what kind of cologne we all wear..........wait:eek:

[Anonymous]

its cool how he asked (girls answer please) and only girls answered so far

[pisceschef]

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Sick Burn!

http://imgur.com/lACHn.jpg

[Sk00ter]

always blame the chick

[Mr Handlebars]

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Sorry dude, but you got the wrong person. At least this guy is getting some, it been so long for me, tats even starting to look good to me.
http://www.33smiley.com/smiley/emotions/12.gif

[Anonymous]

No other serious answers then 'sexually repressed'...

[el_victorino]

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Jesus Christ, man. It's not a race, her nipples aren't radio knobs, and her clit isn't a speed bag. It sounds like you're trying to force an orgasm out of her. You know, by forcing her to "take the hard beam of the shower head for quite some time" which left her crying. What is this, like the first or second clit you've ever touched? Stop acting like you're filming a gonzo porn scene. Have you tried asking her what she likes?

[aside: I can't believe I'm actually giving this dipshit advice on how to fuck his girlfriend]

Okay, back to it. If she's not coming, it's all your fault. Some things to know and some things to try:

1) Just the sight of your sad, hairy ball sack and 3/4 scale penis isn't enough to get her in the mood, nor are your subtle hints like "okay, can we fuck now." Try spending some time (and not just five minutes) on other body parts before you go for the cooter. Maybe make sure she's actually turned on before you try to jam your weiner into her.

2) Many women don't like direct contact on the clit because it's too sensitive. Make your index and middle finger into a V (you know, like "live long and prosper, you fucking nerd) and rub on both sides of the clit without actually touching it. Start light and slow and take your cues from her response. Back and forth, up and down or in circles. Do not get impatient and start assaulting her clit. You're not Norm Abrams sanding a piece of lumber.

3) Same for when you're going down on her. Unless you're using a rented dick and you have to have it back by five, take your time. Light and slow until she tells you otherwise, and avoid direct contact unless or until she tells you otherwise.

3) When you're working her clit manually (see #2) or orally (see #3) insert a finger inside and massage her g-spot (if you're facing her, stick your finger up there with your palm facing you and make a "come here" gesture with your finger. The spongy, roughly nickel-sized spot you feel on the "front wall" of her virginia is her g-spot. Massage it. Lightly, you fucking gorilla. You're not hailing a cab.

4) You've probably already fucked it up with this girl but if you haven't, then recognize that even using this patented and fool-proof method, it may take you a long time to get her there, because you're such an uncaring, inconsiderate, hamfisted clod (really, you basically held her down and raped her with a shower head. Dumbfuck. What the fuck is wrong with you??)

5) Have you really never read a single fucking thing about women? Never talked to one about sex? Never read a sex advice column in Playboy (because, Christ, you need one). MOST women cannot climax solely by penetration. While you're fucking her (Slowly, Moose. You're not paying her by the hour, are you?) also apply Tip #2. (Or Tip #3 if you're really flexible). Use a vibrator on her clit. (Same guidelines as above - light, slow, and no direct contact with this girl).

6) Finally, take a shower. Shave your back. Change your drawers before you pick her up. Wash your ass. Brush your teeth. Put some work into it, you fucking lout.

And realistically, I think you might as well give up and start saving your pennies for a Real Doll. They don't talk back and you won't have to worry if your 16 Year Old On Prom Night efforts actually make her come. Plus, they may be able to custom make one for you with a miniature salesman sample vagina to accommodate your tiny peepee.


Serious enough for you?

[Anonymous]

I read your entire text but the main answer to my question was given in your first sentence .... I am trying to force it out of her with all the bad actions as a result ... If you had known how wise that was you could have left the other bullshit out!

Still thanks and the fact she finds herself disgusting, is ashamed if she is wet and so I will just let be!

[el_victorino]

Let's don't start a whole dialogue about your intimacy problems, but is she on any meds? Most anti-depressants and many other drugs have sexual side effects that could inhibit orgasm.

The feeling like she needs to pee is pretty common, but it sounds like along with everything you've done wrong, there's plenty that she could/should be doing. Until she can come alone she's not going to come with you. Buy her these books:

http://lakecityquietpills.com/photo/multihost/images/54147127772469328602.jpg

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http://lakecityquietpills.com/photo/multihost/images/15482991703034605377.jpg

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Also these two, but I can't be arsed to find the cover pix.

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This is assuming she'd like to change the status quo. If not, then either get used to just getting yours or find another girl to bang.

[el_victorino]

Wait, I actually took the time to answer your question seriously and you didn't even rep me? You ARE an inconsiderate, ham-fisted lout.

[Anonymous]

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She does not have the wish or the need to come alone! And yes, as long as she doesn't know herself how should i know her then?

But she has problems. Lots of them and not only sexual. And although she hurts me like hell i stay with her because i want to help her. Problem is that she is still in the phase that she thinks she is very normal. Well she is not.
So another girl to help ... i started this topic because i wanted to help her and maybe if i could fix this problem it could be the start of fixing everything.

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You will get your rep ;) You deserve it!

[fuzzy_warbles]

If she gets "fixed" she'll find somebody else.
And it comes with no warning 'cause nature loves her little surprises.

[Anonymous]

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And why would she?

[Tablefor5]

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Well if you are saying she has other problems then you can't fix them with your dick. "Aww baby your life is fucked up? Lets fuck!"

[fuzzy_warbles]

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Women love changing stuff-shoes, clothes, their mind, the furniture, and their men.

[Anonymous]

I'm just speculating here, but maybe she has had some kind of sexual abuse in her past. If so, then then nothing is going to get any better until she gets some kind therapy and learns to cope with her past issues.

[el_victorino]

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True. I'm just surprised that with a history of sexual abuse she didn't respond favorably to being RAPED WITH THE SHOWERHEAD!

[Anonymous]

Found out that she might have borderline or something similar ... so it actually got a lot worse :(