Here is Sheree Murphy, some sloppy british bitch who’s worked her way out of the working class factory life and onto TV and in the process managed to land herself a soccer player to marry and have a bunch of kids with and it’s nice to see that despite the fact that she’s destroyed physically by the pregnancy, her husband is still horny enough to get busy with her in the pool for all of us to see. You know that stems from not trying to show off his trophy wife, because she’s more of a participation ribbon they give the retard kids so they don’t feel discouraged for losing, and it is sheer horniness and something you can relate to. I just hope he’s drunk because that’s really the only way I can accept this kind of behavior, like last night when we saw some fat horny Italian chick who was built for making babies, get with some random dude in a really large shirt and pretty much stood in the corner sticking her tongue down his throat and taking breaks to whisper the names of all the babies she has planned for him. The fertility almost turned me on, but the estrogen charged thighs definitely didn’t.

Here’s some skinny model named Elisabetta Canalis in a bikini and she reminds me of this time I worked at a stable shoveling shit out of the horses stalls, not because she looks like shit, but because she looks like a horse, sure she’s got a skinny body and you’d probably fuck her, but that face is a little too reminiscent of the night all the stable boys got drunk and decided to take turns fuckin’ it. It wasn’t a proud moment, but either is this for Elisabetta Canalis or her husband.

Here’s some new Mariah Carey Video for you to listen to while you masturbate or sing along to when nobody is around, I am only posting it because she’s in a bikini and showing off her fat tits, and fat tits are pretty much the way to my heart. Another way to my heart is a lot of hard liquor. I decided to get drunk last night to celebrate your Independence Day and unfortunately didn’t lure girls back to my place for a hot tub party, mainly because I don’t have a hot tub and they weren’t down with standing in the shower while I through buckets of hot water on them, but I did stumble home and I realize that the drunker you get, the less you care about getting tits back to your house and the more you start caring about survival and just getting home alive.

I think Ed Hardy is the cheesiest fucking shit to hit the clothing stores in the last few years. I am talking worse than that overpriced Von Dutch shit that I remember seeing kids wear a few years ago and who paid something like 100 dollars for a $5 trucker hat all because it had some faggot color and brand name and now all those cheesy fucks who used to wear that Von Dutch trash because they thought it was classy cuz it was expensive are rocking this Ed Hardy shit that sell t-shirts for 300 dollars and that put that most retarded fucking shit on their shirts to justify the price. The designer’s like “we’ll put studs and diamond and gold and fuckin’ obnoxious designs and make the most expensive fucking t-shirt in the fucking store and people will eat it up because they are fucking idiots and think that just because it’s expensive, it’s cool”. Now, I don’t know shit about fashion, but I do know a lot about cha chi motherfuckers who just left the gym an hour before hitting the clubs so that they look jacked and I do know that they fucking annoy me, despite landing all the hot party chicks, but because they are just fuckin dumber than the shit my wife left smeared on the toilet seat.

The other day I was sitting at a coffee shop and some dude rolled through in a pick-up truck that had been spray painted with Ed Hardy stupidity and dude got out in a full Ed Hardy outfit, I’m talking hat, shirt, jeans, shoes, and he was the most colorful motherfucker in the place, and his loyalty to a shitty brand was pretty fuckin’ intense, but that didn’t change the fact that he was a fuckin’ asshole, in fact it was like a billboard announcing that motherfucker was a total asshole.

I guess it’s safe to say that Ashley Tisdale has been blinded by Disney’s iron fist and doesn’t have a clue as to what’s up, and maybe that’s why she’s rockin’ the shit, since Ed Hardy’s big marketing strategy is to get celebs in the shit so all the copycats who buy bottles because they think they are celebs buy the shit and I can only assume that these pictures of her in Ed Hardy will sell some bikinis to some 14 year old girls who are future party sluts in trianing. Happy 4th of July.

So I got this email because I called Jewish girls dog faced and people think I am racist and I don’t think I am because Judaism isn’t a race it’s a religion. Anyway, this is the email I got:

I just thought I would share the fact that although I thoroughly enjoy your rants, raves, whathaveyous.. and your incredibly beautiful and skillful way of articulating such hateful and completely disgusting spew about celebs and rich people that are famous because they’re rich, I was upset at your suggesting Jews are ugly. Not ALL Jews are
ugly. For example, I’m Jewish, but I’m not ugly.

Fuck, you know what? I’m adopted. And actually Swedish. But proudly converted at birth and bat-mitzvahed! L’chaim. Oh well. All Jews are ugly.

Yours truly,
Hot Jewish Girl Who Isn’t Really Jewish

See, she gets what I am saying and she’s a fucking Jew. So you can stop sending the hate mail and start sending the nudes and until you do, I’ll just post my links….oh and Happy July 4th Americans.

Gender Benders are everywhere and if I was to make a big deal about seeing a man in a bikini, I’d be a hypocrite since I made a man with tits flash me the other day for 5 dollars. I thought it would make a good internet video, one that would take this site to the next level, but I don’t own a camera so only I got to see it. I know you are jealous, but that’s just because you are sexually confused, and to make you feel better about your sexual dysfunction, the majority of people who fuck tranny prostitutes are actually straight. I guess they just relate to boys pretending to be girls better than they relate to their haggard wives pretending to be girls.

Either way, here’s Pink training for the sex change or to become a mover in a bikini top, because she hasn’t quite made her tits transition into full man pecs yet and running around topless would still be deemed offensive, even more offensive than her in a bikini, something you thought wasn’t possible, but it is, so be grateful she’s covered up.

Her name is Paz Vega, she’s a Spanish Actress that I’ve never heard of because I have a hard enough time keeping track of my stepdaughter’s boyfriend’s names that trying to place these bitches I’ve never heard of is almost impossible. It’s like I have Alzheimer’s just alcoholic induced Alzheimer’s but the truth is that part of me hopes I get Alzheimer’s because it looks fun.

I was at the coffee shop and overheard some girl talking about how her mother got Alzheimer’s, and was talking about all the fucked up shit she does, like how when she watches Regis and Kelly she goes off about how much of a bitch Kelly is and when asked about how she knows Kelly, she goes into an elaborate story about how they used to date the same guy, even though that never happened and I chimed in to tell them how fucking amazing it sounded. It’s like when you have the disease you can get away with pretty much anything you want and you believe all these things that never happened like not wearing pants one day, or drinking Draino. Shit’s like being jacked on drugs always and sounds like a pretty good way to go because you don’t know that your going and you make people like me laugh along the fucking way.

Either way, here she is that Spanish chick in her bathing suit.

My wife is fat and I feel it gives me something that I can relate to Americans on, so it’s not all bad that I can’t handle the smell of her disgusting ass that she can’t wipe properly because she can’t reach, or the fact that I can’t get hard anymore because all I see is a big fucking pile of shit that is her body that struggles to take breaths in, while I sit any pray that eventually her organs will crap out on her so I don’t have to deal with it anymore, not that I want her dead, but the fact that she got herself to this level of obesity makes me think that she wants to die and her heart and lungs are begging to be put out of their misery everytime she tries to stand up.

I made the mistake of showing her this video and now she’s got a new life dream and that is to eat one of these disgusting 1000 calorie bacon cheeseburgers on Krispy Kreme donut buns, not because she wants to be American but because her exact fat words were “that looks so good it should be illegal”, so being the good husband that I am, I have decided to fuel the fire and clog those arteries a little more, I figure I’m like Doctor Kevorkian in this motherfucker and this is just assisted suicide.

Here are some pictures of Denise Richards in a pair of tight pants riding a bike, because despite being annoying as fuck she’s still hot enough for her Nephew to jerk off to her , so that’s gotta say something about her, even though when I was 14, I was jerking off to my foster mother’s dirty underwear that I’d steal from the laundry basket, National Geographic and my neighbor suntanning in her backyard. It was a time before porn was accessible and it was really the only way to get rid of the chronic erections I had. I guess none of this matters, but you should tryto sort out Denise Richard’s vagina definition from these pics, is like some kind of puzzle and I heard puzzles are good for expanding your brain, something you need.

Eva Longoria is like a cat in heat or a retarded kid who rubs it’s genitals up against things because shit feels good and because he doesn’t know any better, like that time I volunteered to teach retards how to swim and it ended up being a fucking circle jerk as 8 retarded kids pulled out their dicks and started beating their shit harder than their dad’s beat their moms while they were pregnant to make them end up the way they did. I tried to stop them, and figured if you can’t beat them, you might as well join them. The group that organized the retard swim wasn’t too impressed with my attempt to make those fuckers feel normal.

Cheryl Tweedy Cole is some Girls Aloud Spice Girl wannabe, who married some black David Beckham wannabe, and she is drunk. Some people think she just dropped her keys while going out, others just think she was overserved as she celebrated her 25th birthday, but I know it’s got more to do with her trying to deal the pain of her failed marriage she is trying to restore because like Beckham, her husband cheated on her, because otherwise he wouldn’t be biting Beckham’s style properly and you’d think she’d be more understanding since she stopped eating to bite Posh Spice’s style, but she’s too busy hitting the bottle and feeling sorry for herself. That over dramatic drunk. I guess the good news for Cheryl Tweedy Cole is that alcohol cures all ailments for me and drunk chicks are fun, even when crying and throwing up on themselves because they usually don’t stop you when you try to fingerbang them.

Amy Winehouse was put under house arrest by her label, because she’s a talent who sells a lot of records and they can’t let her ruin that money making potential for their business. They don’t give a fuck about her health or well-being, they just care about her as a return on an investment that they have probably made 1000 times over but they aren’t done milking this shit and getting her off the streets and the drugs may equate to a couple more albums for her. But big business interest isn’t what this post is about, it’s obvious that business people are like psychopaths out for themselves and if they were to treat people in their everyday lives like they do in business, they’d be arrested or sent to they psych ward, but success and money distract from the fact that they are nuts.

Either way, Amy Winehouse is a fucking star, these are some pictures of her running around like a crazed woman, all while recently beng diagnosed with emphysema. I remember there was a period of time where I thought I had asthma because I was constantly short of breath and though I was going to die and I decided to sit on my couch so I wouldn’t have to strain myself by leaving the house, and never move, whenever anyone asked me to do something, I’d say I couldn’t cuz of the asthma and it was pretty much a solid way to drop any responsibility, I ended up gaining a solid 40 pounds and loved it, but needless to say, when I my wife forced me to go to the doctor and I found out that I wasn’t sick, it put a total damper on my strategy.