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i am- cordially missing you

it has been only a few hours, but they have been the longest hours of my life. you wont answer my text messages. jesus, why wont you answer my text messages? just because i aborted our 3 children does not mean that i deserve this. i miss getting drunk off tequila bang bang and passing out in the kiddie pool in our trailer park and waking up with your hand in my crotch. i miss getting drunk off stolichnaya and letting you paint my toenails with your favorite pink color and then having a sword fight with our fripperie pans. i miss getting stoned off gasolene and windex and running after the police dogs. can i PLEASE come see you today when you are finished work, so we can get drunk, chain smoke, pick up 17 year old girls with peg legs and yell pirate obscenities at passersby, specifically priests, nuns and god.
please? i miss us. and i promise the next time we get pregnant, i will have the child, and we will call it john malcovitch.
love always, minx.

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