I have so much fun stalking Lohan, that I decided to start stalking other celebs. If you aren’t sure what it is that I do, it’s simple. I find people who the person I am stalking has had contact with, whether it is highschool friends, people they work with on movies, their personal assistants/publicists, basically anyone who has ever met them. Then I write a creepy email to that person, in hopes of if getting back to the celebrity I am stalking. It’s my idea of comedy and since I have a Jewish girl fetish, I decided that Trachtenberg would be the second girl I stalk.

This is the stalker email that I sent the make-up artist and hair stylist for the movie Mysterious Skin. Her name is Nicole Le Bris and she has worked with Trachtenberg, here it is.

Dear Nicole,

I read that you were the hairstylist on the movie Mysterious Skin. I am currently stalking Michelle Trachtenberg and wanted to reach out to you, since you have touched her hair and face. I was hoping that you have some strands of Trachtenberg’s hair that I could possibly use for masturbation purposes. If not, I understand and her personal email will suffice.

I look forward to your response,

With Love,

Jesus Martinez

Trachtenberg Getting Coffee

Bonus - Trachtenberg on the Catwalk

Another Bonus - Trachtenberg’s Ass (part of the reason I am stalking her)