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I am - Beyonce at the Beach

beyonce-beachTOP.jpg

If you are black and you’re reading this, the only difference between Jay-z/Beyonce and you is that they don’t have to steal cars to feed their family. That was my bad racist joke of the day. I remember a couple of weeks ago I was at someone’s house for dinner. Yes, people occassionally invite me to dinner parties and I got stuck talking to someone who knew about the site and felt like upstaging my comdey, if you can even call it comedy, I call it social awkwardness. Dude was like “Jesus you’ll love these” but anyone who reads this site knows, I never drop racist jokes, I find them cliche, but this guy at the party just wouldn’t shut up, he obviously thought I got hard for them and this asshole dropped the birthday-bike joke, the hanging from a tree joke, the velcro on the ceiling joke, the bucket of shit joke, pretty much every lame black joke. I just asked him if he was on a joke of the day email list and he told me he was and I told him to go fuck himself and that the next time I am stuck talking to him, he best be packin’ som Jew jokes. I am always in the mood for Jew jokes, no matter how cliche they are. If you have any send them HERE.

I guess the point of all this is to say that although Beyonce’s upper body looks tight, and her ankles look slim, there is a reason she’s rockin’ those shorts, and that reason is her fat ass. Cuddles.

Bonus: Beyonce Dressed Like a Banana Yesterday (it’s one of Jay-z’s Fetishes)

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