I am – Two Useless Sluts on the Beach of the Day
Nothing says “We’re the lamest family in the fuckin’ world” than playing cards with you mom at Starbucks. Nothing says “I love you” more than making you dress up like a highschool mascot and jerking off in your furry face. Nothing says “future rapist” than pulling out your dick at a laundry mat and telling the girl at the cash that you need more quarters or you’ll rape her. Nothing says d-list celebrity like running around on the beach in a bikini. I have nothing to fuckin’ say about anything and I hate you….
KRISTIN CAVALLARI
JESSICA BIEL
