I am – Heidi Klum Pregnancy Weight of the Day
Last night, I went on my evening stroll to the local park, where I try to scare old ladies into giving me their money, young girls into giving me their pussies, young dudes into giving me their weed and other molesting creeps to share industry secrets. On this stroll in the park, I saw a man walking his dog, his baby and more importantly his wife. I know that dude’s tired of being disgusted by this beast he’s had to deal with the last year and she knows that she’s not the hot little number he once married. The problem is that post pregnancy comes exhaustion from listening to the annoying STD cry all fucking night, and when exhausted you usually don’t have what it takes to lose the weight. I predict that dude had to promise his wife he was taking her for ice cream to get her off her fat ass, knowing that the ice cream shop would be closed when they got there. My story wasn’t so good, but the industry secret joke was funny. Go re-read it. Thanks in advance. Asshole.
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