I am – Cindy Crawford’s Bondage Hat of the Day
I used to work for a porn company. I was involved in stocking the shelves in the warehouse and packing boxes. I would get a porno movie a week bonus if I filled a certain number of orders in a day. I always hit target in the beginning, because there was some kind of excitement about the job, that excitement lasted about a month, until I was too bored of porn to care and realized I could make some decent coin selling movies to my friend for half price. I made a couple thousand dollars and was long gone before the company realized it, but that’s not the point of this. The point is that at the porn company, I saw a few banned german movies. There was one bitch who seemed to have enough shit in her to soil everything and everyone on set. She was rockin’ a hat like Cindy Crawford. I wonder if they’re related.
