I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2006

28

Jul

I am – Christina Aguilera’s Tit Post of the Day

Christina Aguilera reminds me of my experience fucking a Fleshlight. I thought the Fleshlight was designed for losers who have no social skills and have never had the chance to exeperience a real cunt, so they use this rubber pussy thinking that that is what sex is like and never really knowing the difference, because the Fleshlight enables losers to remain losers. Why bother leaving the house when you can fuck a rubber pussy that other losers say is better than the real deal. Anyway, I was given a fleshlight (new) from a friend of mine (I used to have friends), he thought it would be a funny joke. So this fucking rubber pussy is sitting in my kitchen cabinet for about 3 months, because I had no real storage space in the one room hell I lived in. Everytime I go in there to grab a can of creamed corn, soup, ramen noodles, or whatever budget food I was living on, I’d see this fucking thing staring back at me. I eventually broke down on a lonely drunken night and fucked that motherfucker like I was paying it by the hour. I busted and that’s when the humilation hit. Here I am sitting with a rubber pussy full of cum and lube all over my dick. So I take it to the bathroom and wash it out lookin in the mirror at myself realizing that out of all the things I have done, all the whores I have fucked, all the drugs I have done, all the drunken nights, this was the single most humiliating experience. I threw the fleshlight back in the cupboard and 6 months later, threw it out cuz I didn’t want to have someone find it had I died in my sleep or some shit. Even though I’d be dead, I’d still be embarrassed, because you know if you find that in someone’s cabinet, you’re not thinking it’s never been used….If you’re wondering why X-Tina is like a fleshlight, you’re not alone. I have no idea where I was going with that story.

X-Tina Leaving The Ivy:

Last Week’s See Through Dress:

At Ronnie Scotts….Whatever the Fuck That Is….

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