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I am – Jessica Biel Likes to Eat of the Day

Jessica_Biel_Eats2.jpg

Someone get this bitch a shovel. Either she hasn’t eaten in a month or she’s bulimic. I have an obese wife and even she takes smaller, more dainty bites than this man. I guess the benefit of having a girl witch a big mouth capacity and a firm grip like Biel probably has from all the weight lifting is that she could probably give a solid blowjob.

The problem with blowjobs is that all girls think they are good at them. I have only had a handful of good blowjobs in my life, but every blowjob was given by a girl who thought she gave the best blowjob in town. If a girl felt like she gave a shitty blowjob she’d work on making it better, she’s try a little harder but since everytime she does it all she gets is positive feedback, because after a dude cums, everything suddenly becomes amazing. That means with orgasm comes praise like “baby you’re amazing, that was the best blowjob ever”. Totally inflating the girl’s ego.

It’s like telling a fat girl she looks good in a low cut top cuz her tits spill out all over the place, when in reality you just like tits and she’s got plenty to offer, and now the bitch rocks a low-cut shirt everywhere she goes making the rest of us sick to our stomachs, cuz no one likes a fat chick in low-cut tops or spandex…well maybe not no one, but most people….

I think the difference between dudes giving head and girls giving head is that no matter how much box we’ve eaten, we never really know exactly what we’re doing. We know that we love it because it’s a vagina in our mouth and the chances of that happening to you is pretty unlikely, so when it does you just spend as much time as she gives you playing around down there….until the roofies wear off. Pervert….

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