Nothing screams eating disorder more than when a bitch walks out of a grocery story with nothing but 2 diet cokes. I think it’s safe the say that fat Ashlee has been working on her physique and what better way to do that than to not eat. I’ve heard of lots of anorexic bitches who eat nothing but diet coke and lettuce to get by and they get fucking skinny. Diet coke has no calories. I think it’s safe to say that fat Ashlee is taking those diet tips from skinny girls. I guess she watches Dr. Phil too.

I on the other hand, wish that I could develop an eating disorder. After yesterday’s chicken wing and donut outbreak washed down with beer after beer after beer, I probably gained a solid 30 pounds. I am having trouble walking from my couch to the kitchen to get more donuts even though I know on the inside that emotionally eating myself to death is the only thing that brings comfort to my life right now. Unfortunately, my wife’s got the same problem and that’s why I had to slide 3 bricks under our bed to support her weight. Nothing a little Diet Coke and Lettuce won’t fix, just look at the younger, less molested Simpson sister.