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I am – Pregnant Shoe Shine of the Day

I remember when I was working out of the Starbucks in the richer neighborhood, trying to surround myself with hot bitches instead of the crack whores and gutter sluts I was used to, even though I prefer the gutter. Anyway, there’d always be rich knocked up trophy wives hanging out talking about how excited they were to start a family and shit. There were days when the post birth bitches would show up with their stupid kids and talk about how amazing their little happy lives are and how perfect, advanced, cute their kids were while their one single friend, or friend who can’t get knocked up sat and watched in envy….But my favorite type of mom is the first mother who would come in to get themselves all kinds of food, because it was the first time in their lives that they could splurge and not have to purge. They already landed the rich dude, and now that his spawn was inside her, she was linked to him for life and every time one of those kinds of bitches would come by the coffee shop, they’d make a point to tell the world how they are 4 months pregnant to either justify why they are eating that much, or to justify why bitch is fatter than the Wal-Mart check out girl with diabetes…

When I saw this pregnant chick shining shoes video, I had no choice but to put up here, because this is the kinda pregnant chick you want in your life, one who still knows how to work and who probably got knocked up by some dude she doesn’t know while high on crack and is low maintenance. This bitch is authentic, she doesn’t pretend that she fucks and let’s the love of her life bust nut inside her for promises of the perfect happy existence with the rich husband and the Range Rover. She does it cuz that’s what Jesus wanted for her….Amazing.

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