Pamela Anderson looks pretty good for an old lady with a bunch of kids and an STD. I am not going to hate on her fake tits or talk about how those fuckers made her all kinds of money because you already know that. I am not going to talk about how she was lucky to have had made the kind of money she did, because if she was still stripping in Vancouver I can guarantee she’d look a lot fucking worse than she does now. Her skin would be hanging off her face more than it is now, her tits would be some kind of discount botched job hanging all lopsided and round and her ass would be fatter from living off a french fry diet, because we all know that old strippers don’t make much money and after paying for their kids, their tanning salon minutes, their smokes and their cocaine, there’s little room for an organic diet…

What I am getting at is that her tits are the same thing as a construction worker’s pick-up truck, or a doctor’s university education, or a tattoo artist’s tattoo parlor. They are a business tool, like my not shaving, showering, grooming for the last 6 days, prepping to go out and pan handle to pay off my server debt… We all do what we have to and I’d’ still slam Pam raw dog, hepatitis and all, because I think hep would be a good angle for my begging for change money making scheme.