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I am - Sonya Kraus Launches Her Bikini Collection With Her Tits and Gay Men of the Day

sonya_kraus_bikini_launch.jpg

I don’t know who Sonya Kraus is but I am going to assume that she is some kind of washed up German Bikini Model, because Kraus sounds German and because usually people launch bikini lines when they have something to do with bikinis.

Either way, there is a valuable lesson you can all learn from these pictures. If you are act like a fruity gay black man and dance around and act all bubbly in front of hot chicks, they will probably want to fag hag you. Now if you never tell them you’re straight and keep shit going they are going to bring you out to parties, they are going to change in front of you and tell you all their dirty little sex secrets. The trick is to be as flamboyant as possible and whenever she brings up you being a poofter, just change the subject and tell her how pretty her hair is. I am telling you that one night when bitch gets drunk she’s going to let you fuck her, you just have to pretend you don’t know what you are doing and that you’re uncomfortable with the whole thing for the first 5 minutes before going pornstar on her ass. The next step is telling her that she turned you onto women and going through every one of her friends you were introduced to because let’s face it, fags get more pussy than you. I pitched this idea to a film production company once, they told me it sucked but you’ll see a derivative of it hit in the next 2 years, I’m convinced, that’s just how my ideas seem to work out for me.

sonya_kraus_bikini_launch2.jpg

I guess my theory was wrong, she’s a TV personality who has nothing to do with bikinis other than wearing them to the pool….thanks wikipedia.

Costume Change…

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