I know that some of your fuckers are major sports fans because your lives are seriously lacking something and you like the distraction. When you are bored you are either looking up sport stats to bet on the games or looking up pictures of blonde chicks with big fake tits to jerk off to. The reason I know that you assholes like sports is because I get emails about how I don’t do enough sports content, but the blonde chicks with fake tits are what keep you coming back. I think Michelle Marsh is up on this shit and realizes that the key to her success now that she’s already showed us all her big fake tits is to hit up the sports market by wearing a British soccer bikini, because even if England isn’t your team at least you sports fanatics can pretend she’s into watching the game while drinking a beer with you. It’s got nothing to do with the fact that she’s probably already fucked 3/4 of the team.

If you’re wondering why I was never into team sports, it’s simple. I suck at them. I don’t understand wasting time trying to kick balls or shoot baskets or throw touchdowns, I think it’s a distraction from what’s important and that is getting drunk. I think that working with a bunch of dudes towards menial success like winning is just a way to trick yourself that you have purpose. Reality is that the local pick-up game doesn’t mean shit in the grand scheme of the world. That’s not to say that what I spend my time doing does have any kind of impact, but at least I am wallowing in self-pity while drunk, instead of tricking myself into thinking I am good at something because I ended up on the team with the Ethiopian dude who can run faster than a cheetah because he spent his life running away from Cheetahs who tried to eat him. I guess the other reason I hate sports is the whole gay factor of a group of men in the shower and slapping each other’s asses in a testosterone rage and there is the small issue with me not being physically fit enough to walk up a flight of stairs. Hard living motherfucker, it takes it’s toll….

Either way, Here’s Michelle Marsh Manipulating You in a Bikini.