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I am - Maria Sharapova Practising her Tennis of the Day

maria_sharapova_training.jpg

I figure since you’re a bunch of lazy perverts, you’ll appreciate watching or looking at pictures of one of the hottest bitches in tennis training. You can look at her struggling with her ball, bending over, stretching and making forced faces that are similar to the faces she’d make banging you and pretend that she is banging you, because you are creepy….

I decided that I should become a stand up comedian because it’s a life that is designed for fat losers with nothing much to say but nonsense they come up with while sitting at home getting drunk alone in efforts to forget how much their lives suck.

The reason they think they have it in them to be stand up comedians is because their better looking friends always tell them that they are funny because there’s really not much else going for them and when trying to prevent your fat loser friend from killing themselves, you go for whatever it is you can to make them feel better about themselves.

The only real reason why their funny is because they are overcompensating for their inability to look good enough to fuck and some asshole told them that humor is the fastest way into a girls pants while forgetting to tell them that that only applies after all the good looking and successful guys are unavailable.

So stand up comedy is this who fucking pool of assholes who have this delusional idea of having what it takes.

Since I figure I fit the part, here are some jokes I wrote in efforts to live the fucking loser dream:

Maybe fag’s are into to you because you are an asshole

That’s pretty much all I’ve got….





Going for the Gold!
Athletes who didn't make it to the olympics...
Welcome to Miami
They are are waiting for you...
I Hate Children
This is why...
Kaira is 18
Barely legal and loads of fun...
Bottle Rocket Fun
Because some people never learn...
They Strip, You Watch
It's really just that simple...
Let Them Be Your Fantasy
Because we all know girls won't talk to you in real life
I Never Get Tired of Stipper Poles
And you shouldn't either
The Great Outdoors
Because we all need a little fresh air now and again, and by fresh air, I mean pussy
911 is a Joke
Because sometimes people deserve to be fucked with





















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