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I am – Jessica Simpson Goes to the Gym of the Day

jessica_simpson_top.jpg

The thing that annoys me about girls is that when they get dumped they take shit personal. They start hitting the fucking gym to reclaim their desirability. It’s like animal instinct if the dude you were with doesn’t want to fuck you anymore and he wants to fuck younger, hotter, tighter girls than you and you have to show the motherfucker what he’s missing out on.

What would make a fuck of a lot more sense is if you put this kind of effort into yourself when you’re together, then maybe motherfucker wouldn’t have had to dump you because your fat ass doesn’t turn him on anymore and the girl down the street who does yoga in her front yard for him to see is all he can fucking think about….but you had to get fucking lazy and you couldn’t have had that fucking Yoga ass he wants.

I remember when I was in my 20s they used to say that even Cindy Crawford’s husband gets bored of her and wants new pussy, she was all the fucking rage at the time, considered one of the hottest bitches out there. We’ve all heard the expression that the only thing better than pussy is new pussy. Well I will argue that if your pussy is the hottest pussy in the fucking neighborhood, your pussy is the pussy I am going to stick by.

In the end, the joke is on the guys who dump the girl anyway. They usually spend the next 3 years trying to find another chick worth getting involved with and in the process end up drinking a lot, getting fat and jerking off a lot. Where as girls are getting dick within 24 hours of shit and within a few months Jessica Simpson will be back to her hot self again…..

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