This is Diane Kruger, German actress famous for playing Helen in “Troy” and also for being in “National Treasure,” which is for some godforsaken reason filming a sequel in London right now. She kind of looks like a pin-up for the Hitler Youth in these pix, well, being German and all.

I used to get her confused with Sienna Miller in 2004, but then Miller shacked up with Jude Law, got traded in for the Nanny, making herself a name. I don’t know when these were taken, but Diane Kruger is naked, so have fun jerking off to Helen of Troy.

About a year ago, I had one of those experiences where I felt like fucking Helen of Troy for 20 minutes when I scored the hottest guy in an exclusive new bar. I stalked and slithered up to him, we sealed the deal on the dance floor. I was looking for love in all the wrong places, but this felt right, because it was raining like crazy as we ran off to his apartment, like something out of a Doris Day movie. All wet, we strolled into his marble floored building, then got down to business. As he spent ONE minute releasing his load, i wondered why there was only a bed and lamp in the huge apartment. Finally he rolled off me and bolted for the shower. Like, what? I don’t have ‘ex-hooker’ tatooted on my vulva and I don’t have any diseases (miraculously) and the trojan was involved, so what was that about? As he scrubbed himself down, I dressed myself, unsatisfied (because, come on, 1 minute, even Jesus at the end of his prime was better than that). As I pulled on my wet jeans, i put two and two together… like probably this wasn’t his apartment, and he was the broker or something, and had OCD about cleanliness, becuase when i was a hooker, I was all about perfect hygeine, and still am.

That manwhore left me feeling dirty and used because this time it wasn’t for survival or pay, it was for the moment, and asswipe treated me like a dumpster slut. I bet Diane Kruger has never been treated as if “ex-hooker” was tatooted across her forehead, but i bet Sienna Miller has. though.

Obediently yours,

Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)

Posted in:Diane Kruger|Naked|Tits|Unsorted