I am – Jaime Pressly the Birthday Whore of the Day
One thing Julien, our Token Gay Blogger, and I have always bonded on is that we both came from shitty homes with no money and even less morals and values. That being said, we love who we are, don’t deny it for a minute. Seriously, we wouldn’t change a thing. Okay maybe the money part.
This is what Jaime Pressly chose to wear on her birthday, which goes to show that no matter what happens, people never change. I don’t care how many fucking Emmy nominations she gets, she is and will always remain a white trash slut.
Now, I’m just as whorish as she is. You know that old STD slogan that goes something like “you’re not just having sex with that person but with everyone that they’ve ever been withâ€. If that’s true, if you have sex with me your pretty much just fucked 3/4 of the gays in the metropolitan area. Having sex with me is pretty much the equivalent of picking up a half-eaten burger on the street and finishing it. I’m that used. And hey, I’m also fairly trashy. I come from the kind of household were Cool Ranch Doritios are fancy hors d’oeuvres and Miracle Whip is used as salad dressing.
But ultimately I am superior to her because the difference between me and Jaime is that while I am self-proclaimed white trash slut, I don’t fucking flaunt it. I’m not going to wear a fishnet bodysuit with a big whole in the butt cheek and makeup that makes me look like a Cuban hooker. Everyone knows that I’m trashy; I don’t have to rub it in their faces. Sometimes subtlety goes a long way.
I know saying this to somebody who was in the movie Joe Dirt is pointless, but Jaime, for the love of god, have a little class.
Smooch!
Julien
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