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I am - Christina Aguilera Lookin’ Like One Classy Broad of the Day

Christina Aguilera

I had to transfer to another school halfway through my sophomore year cause we moved and they wouldn’t let me go to the same school. I don’t make new friends too well, so school basically became a day to day schedule me being picked on and getting my ass kicked, cause I wasn’t a loser-jock-girl-fuck who wore Sweatsuits to school everyday with the word JUICY blazing across my ass. There was this one asshole named Juan who fucked with me everyday and was basically the dude who lead everybody else in fucking with me and the other kids, and who everyone in the school hated him but never said shit to him about it.

Before the end of the year he was drunk and crashed his car, genius that he was, and fucking died. Low and behold, all the sudden everyone was so sorry he was gone, and there was yearbook dedications and days off of school etc. What pissed me off most was how all those fucks that said they hated him the day before were suddenly so sad he was gone.

Not me, I didn’t give a shitand told everyone so and even got in trouble because of it. But that asshole had it coming, and karma is a bitch. They gave us all the day off on his funeral. I went out and got drunk with my friends from my old school in the park and lit firecrackers while I screamed with excitement. I knew that asshole was the cause of my problems, and sure enough, I had no problems at school after that and finished the school year in peace. Ding, Dong, the witch was dead.

I always liked Christina Aguilera, not just because shes an amazing fucking talent (her music kinda sucks, granted, but fuck can she can sing) but because I once read that everyone hated her in highschool and she used to get the shit kicked out of her all the time. It gives me hope that my piece of shit life will one day turn around and I will be rich, famous and throwing eggs at the people I hate while I hang out the roof from my Limo with a bottle of vodka.

Okay maybe not the Limo, cause limos are for losers but you get the idea.

hugs and kisses
Marie-Eve Martinez


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