This hipster shit is taking over the world so I emailed the Neighborhood Festival in L.A. asking for press access. Since I always get rejected I was surprised that they hooked us up with access. The problem with things working out was that I don’t live in Los Angeles and had no choice but to set shit up. So I had to find someone to go out there and fuck with people for me.

I reached out to my stepNEPHEW Paco and he was willing to do it for me, which is a good thing because I am way less funny and motivated and probably would have slept through the festival if I was able to afford a plane ticket, which I can’t.

If I was there I would have ended up offending people in the first minute and they would have punched me in the face by minute 3, because I am in the business of getting punched in the face which could be funny, but I wouldn’t have had a camera to film it and it’d just be stories on the site that no one would ever read. So in a lot of ways, Paco is a god send and here is Part one of DrunkenStepfather at the Neighborhood Festival. Enjoy.

Remember, ladies send in your titty pics into me for Paco to sign if he got you all hot and bothered.