I think I may be in love with Ivanka Trump. Not because she is hot but because I fall in love every time I leave my house, which isn’t as often as it probably should be meaning I am forced into falling in love with girls on the computer who I don’t know and will never know, but not because she’s got it going on, or because she’s got huge tits but because she’s got a huge bank account, and like most whores out there, I am willing to Anna Nicole Smith her ass because it would make for a good retirement fund, unfortunately she’s not 90, she just acts that age by being all studious with her business degree and all career oriented when she could be out getting fucked on camera while high on cocaine she bought from Lohan.

Either way, I did decide to leave my house and I am sitting next to some dude who is trying to seduce his girlfriend. I can only assume she doesn’t give him enough blow jobs and he figures charming her with his stupidities will make her feel special enough to take his load on her face. He just told her that he’s never fallen in love with a chick before her and that they were just pussy to him, but she’s something special….what his girlfriend doesn’t realize is that he never fell in love with a chick before, because there were no chicks, just cut outs from magazines in his wallet and posters on his wall. I guess this is what it’ll be like when you get your first girlfriend, I should ask him if he’s one of my 5 readers because you guys are way too similar for him to not be.

Look at Ivanka’s tits. They are big and they are rich. Like my penis, only the complete opposite, if you know what I mean….

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