I am – Lindsay Lohan’s Not Drinking Designer Water of the Day
I blame celebrities for making a lot of stupid shit popular. One of those things is expensive bottled water that assholes feel the need to drink in public to look like they are ballin’. I remember last summer seeing Fiji water in every asshole kid’s hand at 4 dollars a bottle, then Fiji became too normal for showboating assholes that they went with Voss at 10 dollars a bottle or something insane like that.
Now I realize that rich kids are assholes who get free money to do what they want with and I realize that poor people that are trying to maintain some kind of rich image because they think that shit gets them respect are assholes too, but I also realize that drinking bottled water is for fucking homo’s, If you’re dehydrated from a night of drinking, there’s nothing wrong with hitting up the water fountain at the local bus stop, you can probably land some teenage runaway pussy there, who is impressed if you buy her a fuckin’ chocolate bar because she hasn’t eaten in a week, but when you’re dropping more money on water than something with booze in it, you’re clearly a fuckin asshole too because bottled water will not get you pussy.
Here are pictures of Lohan drinking some Whole Foods house brand water, and despite Whole Foods sounding like some pretentious hippie lesbian organic shit, I can only assume this water isn’t anything designer and is the equivalent of wearing a pair of sneakers that you got a Wal Mart because you suck at life.
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