Here’s the new Mariah Carey video that you can almost relate to, except for the girl with big tits answering her door in a bra and playing with you in your fantasies party. Your life is more about being the awkward motherfucker sitting on the computer nervous as shit because a girl in the chat room just asked you for a private chat or some shit.Maybe one day she will get on cam for you, we all have dreams and my dream may not involve touching Mariah Carey or her huge tits, it’s gotta do with unicorns, they are so mystical and I feel like if I had I unicorn I could really take over the world.

It’s kinda like this asshole I used to hang out with who bought a Firebird with a T-Top. He was so convinced bitches would flock to it, that everytime we rolled together he would park outside of bars blasting his shitty music with a beer in his hand, expecting them to crawl into the half-assed convertible and start bouncing on his dick. Instead, they’d just look and laugh because we were about 20 years too old and too late and the high school dreams of being the cool guy with the firebird should have been left in highschool, and high school girls today are more into luxury cars and Firebirds don’t have the same impact as they did in the 80s. Now if dude had a unicorn, every slut from the age of 4 on would think you’re a fuckin’ hero and that is the power of having a non-existent animal all girls dreamed of having as a kid, it’s timeless.

Either way, Here’s me and Mariah like baby and pacifier’s new video.