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Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Pizza Party of the Day

I was surprised to find out that lesbians ate pizza, I always thought they only ate pussy, but here is Lohan and her lesbian cock, Samantha Ronson on a pizza date, proving me wrong.

I always find it funny when the people I’ve known in my life have had to fuck off to rehab and they come back to the normal life and ask me out for a coffee because they don’t drink or do drugs anymore and coffee is their drug of choice. So I have to sit through hours of them spewing their self absorbed bullshit on me, like how they are changed and how they are never going to touch drugs again and how they realized in rehab that they really hated themselves and that is why they were self destructive and now they are working on a better happier life, while I know they are bullshit and 3 months or less later I run into them jacked on coke in a club talking about how they are cured and just dabble in the shit and 6 months later I get a call from them asking me for money, which is pretty fucking desperate because everyone knows I have no money, but I guess they’ve gone through all their other leads and are desperate and then a year later a get a call from a mutual friend telling me they are dead.

I am not saying that Lohan is back on the drugs, I am saying she was never off the drugs. She looks like the kind of girl who has a mother who fed her cocaine when she was 10 to keep a trim figure while staying energetic so that she could make more money for the family, she just went to rehab to save face and make the public and producers think she was making positive changes, while in reality she’s still a vagina lickin’ cokehead with too much money to ever stop and I think I love that kind of determination. Unfortunately, the lesbian cock she’s sockin’ is Samantha Ronson’s and that destroys any lesbian all the sex appeal from a potentially amazing video opportunity, if only another chick was cast for the part.

7 Responses to “Lindsay Lohan’s Lesbian Pizza Party of the Day”

  1. raymi Says:

    post rehab coffee dates so true! blah! fuck off addicts!

  2. coi Says:

    i think anybody who drinks coffee on a regular basis has an addiction problem, caffeine is actually a drug.

  3. Anonymous Says:

    Blohan’s gravestone will read: “Forever searching for the camera.”

  4. modianos Says:

    hey coi? have you ever seen someone in a pawn shop trying to get coffee money?

  5. SoggyCelebs Says:

    … I’d still do her.

    Even if that… thing… next to her has to be in on it.

    Indeed I would

  6. Vanessa Says:

    Sorry, but despite Lindsey’s f’ups, she’s still pretty hot…and Samantha Ronson is so NOT. I’m sure Lindsey could find a much better gal pal.

  7. Peppermint Ordonez Says:

    anyone ever stop to think that maybe samantha might just be a rad chick to hang out with? why does everyone immediately jump to “she’s not hot, so i don’t get it.” shallow.
    but, yeah, it’s totally cuz she’s doling out the best blow, AND you’ll probably get laid, too. coke sex is the best.
    and please, don’t ever compare cocaine to coffee ever again, jack ass.

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