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Blogging Is Dangerous and Kills People of the Day

So 2 bloggers died of heart attacks recently and it’s hit the news.

I don’t think any of you should worry about me dying from blogging because I barely work, but I still feel the heat of being a fat unhealthy internet fuck who is on the verge of death but I feel like it’s got nothing to do with blogging, it’s probably got more to do with smoking, hard drinking and eating lots of cake and only getting off my fat ass to take a shit about half the time I have to shit, the rest of the time I just do it on the floor next to the cardboard box I use as a desk. That’s how we do it in this household. Reality is that I am always stressed because I don’t make money and can’t afford drinking, or because I am hungover and having panic attacks caused by alcohol withdrawal and the only real stress in running the best site on the internet nobody reads and nobody thinks is the best site on the internet and that is why they don’t read it is that I have to wake up every morning around noon being reminded that I suck at life. I also have an annoying fuckin’ wife who I hate and who keeps me up at night with her sleep apnea that’s lead to my own sleep apnea and is why I have high blood pressure. So I may be the next blogger to drop dead, I can only hope and you can too, but I am just being cynical, people like me don’t die, God likes us to suffer.

The bad news is that Perez has a personal trainer and taking on a healthy lifestyle because he doesn’t want to die by blogging, the good news is that Perez Hilton is a gay slut and is going to die of AIDS.

Here he is on CNN giving his “expert” opinion while bigging himself up about how great he is and how much fun his life is while making his 20,000,000 dollars a year.

Since today’s my birthday and I figure I should have a bunch more, I think it’s time to start using my wife’s thighmaster that she bought 20 years ago and never used but that’s just because Suzanne Somers gives me a boner.

7 Responses to “Blogging Is Dangerous and Kills People of the Day”

  1. romius t Says:

    Happy Birthday Jesus!!!

  2. Frothy Afterbirth Says:

    Bonne Fete ya drunken whore! You can’t die you are Jesus and will arise again to take believers into the promise land which more likely to be in hell. Don’t count me to be one of the followers, I like the martyrdom notion of being with 72 virgins in heaven.

  3. josie Says:

    your site IS the best damn site. happy birthday! don’t die.

  4. TW Says:

    You’re 100% correct!! I hope Perez is the next blooger to die — I can’t stand that fuck!

  5. Serafina Says:

    Happy Birthday Jesus. Your site is the best! If you die I will have nothing to live for.

  6. unnamed Says:

    It’s so funny. I often watch some funny videos and photos on myinterracialmatch.c o m . It said that there are some hot star such as Britney’s photoes and videos there.

  7. Dickie Hateface Says:

    Are you as sick of the dating site spam as I am? Well, it’s time to fight back. Go google this phone number: 1-416-628-1072. Those are the assholes who own all of the fucking dating sites.

    1) Prank call them endlessly. Make their number unusable.
    2) Sign up for their sites. It’s quick, easy, and doesn’t require a valid email.
    3) Fill their mailboxes with hate mail and garbage posts.
    4) Troll their users with evil, hateful, racist messages. The more offensive, the better.
    5) Go to whois.godaddy.com to get the registration info for their sites. They’re all run by the same guy. Phone-spam him until his head explodes.

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