I don’t really know what the deal with The Hills is but I do know that none of the bitches on the show are hot enough to fuck. They are all a bunch of average at best lookin’ girls and have no fucking business being on TV. I guess to be fair, Roseanne, Darlene from Roseanne, Grace Under Fire and Rosie O’Donnel have all had really successful TV careers, but I guess they never mistakenly took that success as being some kind of sex symbol.

So here’s Heid and her fucking loser pretend boyfriend, with her pretend tits and her pretend success that came from a pretend show, showing off a line of clothing called Heidiwood, which isn’t a pretend tacky name, and isn’t pretend ugly, and will only be worn by girls who don’t pretend they aren’t sluts, but actually embrace that shit and flock to anything that requires a bikini wax to wear.

This is on some on some neon g-string cat suit level that is the same quality as anything sold in a sex shop, worn by a stripper or on a porn set, it’s the kind of shit that gives you a rash when you put it on, but the good news is this time the rash isn’t caused by another herpes outbreak. Let’s celebrate!! Too bad no one is here to give me a dozen roses to make me feel good on my special day.