Mary Kate In A See Through Shirt of the Day
I dated a girl many years ago and we were pretty much living together. We went through the honeymoon phase where we’d fuck all the time, which always amazed and disgusted me that a girl could get that horny for me, but rode it out happily anyway. About 4 or 5 months into the relationship we both started doing drugs pretty heavily and kinda lost track of fucking each other and instead got fucked together. It was good time and we got along pretty good. About 3 months after the whole drug binge started she comes up to me and tells me that she’s pregnant. Without doing the math, I accept it and together we clean up our acts to bring this fucker into the world. I get a job, she quits drinking, smoking and using and then one day about 6 months into the pregnancy, I tell her that I don’t entirely understand how she’s pregnant considering before she told me about the pregnancy we hadn’t fucked in over 4 months and were too busy getting high. That’s when she told me that she had been fuckin’ some other married dude and since I was her boyfriend felt we were in it together. Either way, I went back to the bottle because I was pretty fuckin’ devasted and needed to feel numb again, I dumped her ass despite retardness by not doing the timeline but we still lived together. She went out one night and used hard and the next day I woke up to her screaming in the other room and she was there with a still born baby in the bed hysterical. It was pretty fuckin’ traumatic and if you’re wondering why I am telling you this story, it’s because the baby’s facial expression looked exactly like this Olsen in her see through shirt and it is kinda freaking me the fuck out.
April 30th, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I’m so glad that was all a lie…
April 30th, 2008 at 6:00 pm
That was a great anecdote, sounds like one of the many chapters in my life. I’ve always thought the Olsen’s look like a miscarriage, I just couldn’t put my finger on it, until now, so thanks for bringing a little clarity to my fussy subconscious.
April 30th, 2008 at 6:20 pm
their doing another “return of the living dead”?
April 30th, 2008 at 8:07 pm
OMG….. I still do her tho…
April 30th, 2008 at 8:08 pm
omg is that Mini Amy Winehouse
holy crap thought that website thingy would be the title… say no more…
April 30th, 2008 at 9:15 pm
The Olsen Twins look like emaciated, alcoholic Chimpanzees, if there were such a thing…….
May 1st, 2008 at 11:17 am
is this the one that was on weeds
May 1st, 2008 at 2:35 pm
Whoever the disgusting human being is that posted this entry has no class and should think twice before sharing a story that literally has nothing to do with the picture and everything to do with you and your useless ex-girlfriend who no doubt should be held responsible for her negligence. Likening her picture to that of a defenseless, still-born baby is a disgrace. Maybe try thinking before you speak…
May 1st, 2008 at 2:47 pm
ahahaha. disgusted is clearly disgusted. ahahaha. i think drunken stepfather is hilarious. that is all. i still love the olsens even though their third nose jobs are atrocious.
May 1st, 2008 at 2:48 pm
OK. That was true comedic writing. A compelling story with a knockout punchline.Genius!!
May 1st, 2008 at 3:37 pm
sounds like trainspotting…
how i miss the honeymoon days.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:02 pm
Yeah, I am equally disgusted that someone could find any humor in a death of an innocent child. Something is missing in your soul, if you have any at all.
May 1st, 2008 at 5:16 pm
I am having a good time watching everyone take things too literally.
May 1st, 2008 at 9:43 pm
Is that story true? I am just a tad gullible, but I hope that was a joke and if not, were you on heroin or crack? Cause coke can’t do that people, can it?
May 1st, 2008 at 9:57 pm
get over it. i wish more babies would die, funny story
May 1st, 2008 at 11:42 pm
Get off the almighty altar. You are reading a site called Drunken Stepfather. Get a sense of humor. A look at yourself and how you spend your time and do something relevant if you are that offended. Sheesh!
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:00 am
I don’t think anything this guy says is ever really true, but sure is hilarious. This is probably the best story ever.
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:08 am
this made my gdamn day
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:33 am
Hilarious indeed! I’ll never look at her again without thinking of that story, and i sincerely thank you for it. Stillborn babies rock.
May 2nd, 2008 at 10:22 am
There’s a difference between having a sense of humor and knowing your limits…Some things just aren’t funny, for instance, dead babies. There are other ways to get a laugh and this isn’t one of them – unless you’re just not creative enough to think of any…
May 2nd, 2008 at 1:54 pm
I hate when I wake up with a cold, wet dead baby in the bed. Nothing is more of a buzzkill than that.
What with all the effort of cleanup, cutting the fibrous mess into garbage disposal-friendly sized pieces and dousing the bedding in Hydrogen Peroxide in the bathtub to get the stains out, then carrying the whole wet load of sheets and blankets to the laundromat, it really puts a damper on the busy schedule of a junkie.
Trust me, I know, I’ve been there. Last time this happened was just a week or so ago. This last one did not resemble an Olsen at all…it looked more like a wad of chewed up gum covered in boysenberry preserves. It went down the disposal in 2 neatly chopped bits.
I keep telling my doctor I want my tubes tied, and he keeps telling me I’m too young. Too young for what? Learning what gets bloodstains out of 600 thread count Egyptian cotton? Please. Gotta love the moral Physician act. If he knew what I did on my own time, he’d chase me down and tackle me for the privilege of giving me a tubal ligation.
America, the land of the free…if you’ve already got 2 screaming crotch droppings and are on public assistance. :sigh:
May 2nd, 2008 at 2:46 pm
Hey Kim~
You’re an evil pig…
May 2nd, 2008 at 3:34 pm
Kendall, pray for Ling-Ling.