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Heidi Montag Denies Til She Dies of the Day

Heidi Montag was asked about her fake tits and nose job and basically said she got it done because of insecurities that have always followed her from being teased as a kid. This gives teaches a strong lesson to kids everywhere, and by everywhere I mean the small percentage of her fans that aren’t autistic or retarded, and that lesson is that if you are being teased by other kids, the other kids are right, so go out and fix whatever they’ve told you to so you can fit in. You hear that black kid in the corner, it’s going to be hard but you’re just going to have to turn yourself white…and gay dude, we know how much you love home economics class where you get to make your favorite dresses, but motherfucker you are going to have to join the fucking football team and stand a little straighter because that’s what Heidi Montag told us.

It’s really unfortunate that she doesn’t take her own advice about other aspects of her life, sure you call her Kate Hudson and she goes and gets implants, or a Dirty Jew with that big ‘ol Dirty Jew nose and she get her nose done, but for some reason no matter how useless I call her, how many times I laugh at her song, her career, her relationship, her show, you’d expect her to just put an end to it all by putting a gun to her head. I guess I am just not as relevant as the pretty girls in her middle school.

Either way, the highlight of this clip is how she says she doesn’t drink or do drugs twice in a matter of minutes, it’s one of those if you tell me enough times I’ll start to believe her bullshit, but that didn’t work when my wife told me she lost weight so I’d give her the potato chips and it’s not going to work now. There is no way you can live as Heidi Montag andd not be on drugs without hurting yourself.. It would seriously take me about 15 minutes of being Heidi Montag before jumping off the 7th story window of the Chateau Marmont and those 15 minutes don’t count because I’d be masturbating and playing with my fake tits and I’d bring that Spencer cunt down with me.

14 Responses to “Heidi Montag Denies Til She Dies of the Day”

  1. DontWant Says:

    Can she really pop ping pong balls out of her pussy? Because I heard that’s how she got the Hills role. They brought her into the conference room. Layed her out on the table, and she popping ping pong balls out over their heads.

    Shit was amazing..

  2. whotookmystapler Says:

    Man, if this mental giant doesn’t exemplify the problems of GenY..

  3. Groupie Says:

    Such a role model for all the little children! :S

  4. david Says:

    what a waste of air…both of their asses

  5. Napoleon Says:

    Haha. Nice post.

  6. dene Says:

    OH COME ON! You see her drunk and wasted in the hills episodes allll the time! I wonder why else she dropped of college…role model…hmm…

  7. Mel Says:

    Umm… I don’t watch The Hills, but I have caught it in passing a few times. And I think everytime I’ve seen it she’s at some club, drinking some girly drink. One time I specifically remember her ordering a glass of wine.

    Drinking - No big deal. She’s at least old enough to drink, but why deny it? There’s documented proof that she does enjoy a cocktail on occasion - She needs to get over herself and her Christian role-model ways.

    Jesus knows she’s letting Spencer hit it - That’s why he cries.

  8. gigi Says:

    Yeah, she’s such a great Christian role-model that she made fun of an alcoholic! Remember, LC’s ex, Jason was just released from rehab and Heidi and Spencer ordered them “drinks”. He was sent a bottle of water and LC a Shirley Temple (from season 3).
    IT was NOT a nice gesture!

  9. Matt Says:

    Does she use Spencer as a douche? Because I think that’s about all he’s good for. Also, fake tits and nose or not, she’s still fucking haggard.

  10. katie Says:

    yeah what a nice christian girl. she said she’s “very close to her faith” LMAO dumb broad.. she’ll say anything for attention.

  11. katie Says:

    oh and spencer’s face during the interview is priceless.

  12. Melissa Says:

    I’m impressed that Spencer got off of the couch to go to an interview! What a worthless bastard.

  13. mel Says:

    what about pre marital sex you good christian slut… i mean girl.

  14. Sprmcandy Says:

    Other than watching Heidi gag to death on my thick creamy sperm, what is she good for? Someone tell me please.

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