May Anderson is a model and she’s wearing a bikini because that’s what models do. They also like to make all chicks feel like shit about themselves because they don’t have A-Cup tits or a size 24 waist. They lead to eating disorders, low self-esteem and both those things work really well for me, without them I would be writing to you as a virgin but instead i am a man dying of Aids.

I met my own kind of supermodel this past weekend. She was tall, emaciated and hungry and sitting on the street corner begging for change. She had a squirrel that she probably saved from getting eating by another homeless man in one of her adventurous nights in the park that she sleeps in, that she obviously domesticated and turned into a pet. The thing was sitting on her fucking shoulder and tied to some kind of rope and it scared the fuck out of me, but not as much as it disgusted me. I wanted a picture but didn’t have a camera.

I did wonder if that girl and her squirrel ever makes it out to tan on the beach, or if the soiled panties I saw sticking out of her jeans were the closest thing she had to a bikini, I guess I’ll never know because it won’t be long before a more ambitious perverted creep sweeps her and her pet squirrel off her feet with promises of a hot meal, shower and bed to sleep on only to leave her raped against a tree 100 miles out of town. I always miss out on great opportunities.

Either way, here’s May Anderson in a bikini.

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