Heidi Montag Goes to the Pumpkin Patch of the Day
Heidi Montag managed to step away from the hustle and bustle that is her lie of a life on The Hills and re-connect with her roots. You know heading out to the pumpkin patch where she was made by the farmer’s handicapped son and where she worked as a scarecrow for the first 17 years of her life, before somehow managing to take her straw-filled useless body and her face only a farmer’s retard son could love, that made for the best damn face in the scarecrow business, where no crows ever came within 10 feet of the crop with her around, to Hollywood, where she became what she is today. The only remnants of what once was is her soulless body and that face that could stop traffic for being something out of a really low budget horror movie and of course the wonderful memories that she’s decided to share with her fake boyfriend of her time as a device, traditionally a human figure dressed in old clothes, or mannequin, that is used to discourage birds such as crows from disturbing crops, because this time of year is always really nostalgic for her, like the group of seniors I saw celebrating their 60th high school reunion, because besides waiting for death, it’s all they really have to do today…
Either way, here’s Heidi and her plastic tits, plastic life and plastic boyfriend, playing with the crops she once helped protect.
October 15th, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I would ass rape this cunt. Hot bitch that she is.
October 15th, 2008 at 3:31 pm
I’ll stick something in her patch !!!!!!!!!!!
October 15th, 2008 at 5:59 pm
It would have been great if someone smashed those pumpkins over Heidi and Spencer’s heads! lol
October 15th, 2008 at 7:03 pm
Yuk! She puts my boner into the ground!!
October 16th, 2008 at 1:24 am
Hey, when do we get a Heidi and Spencer sex tape?
October 16th, 2008 at 5:40 pm
She always looks “special.” It’s nice they take her helmet off for these pictures though.
July 26th, 2009 at 3:09 am
While she looks like a fuck toy I wonder how she looks without make-up.