Mary Kate Olsen Gets in a Fender Bender of the Day
I borrowed a friend’s car the other day to take my wife to the Hospital because we thought she was having a heart attack, at least we were hoping she was having a heart attack and by we, I mean me. I figure it’ll be a hell of a lot easier to deal with her bullshit, if she’s in heaven. I’m just jokin’ around, but when we were parking, something I am not very good at, despite having been a valet for about a month before getting fired for complaints of cars being scratched up because I don’t really have very good coordination and I always feel massively slow and hungover, usually because I am hungover, but this time I didn’t actually hit the car behind me to let me know I had gone just far enough, but instead stopped an inch away from it. The good news is that the owner of the Honda was standing right next to her car, walking her massive lesbian dog, that matched her lesbian outfit and her lesbian attitude. She barked at me saying something like “did you hit my car” and I responded saying something like “no, but I wish I had” leading to her getting really mad at me and getting in my face because she felt that I was being rude. So I asked her if she was just jealous that I had a woman with me and that I didn’t have to hide my sexuality from the world, leading to a lonely life in a shitty apartment with a dog who sometimes licks my pussy, with his luscious tongue, that despite it’s magical length and ability, still doesn’t compare to a real woman to share my pussy with and that’s when the dog bit me. Bitches.
My wife sided with her, because she’s not as loyal as a dog, saying something like I am abusive to women, I am a pig, I spend my days ripping into chicks, because I am a weak scared coward, so I did what anyone would do and bit her.
Here’s a video of Mary Kate Olsen’s friend in her trendy hippie car bumping into the car behind her despite having a whole lot of room, because she’s a worse driver than me. The truth is that this wouldn’t have been a fuckin’ issue had the paparazzi not been there to watch their every move and I guess the good news is that Mary Kate wasn’t driving because the damage would have been a hell of a lot worse, since she’s always high or at least looks like she is.
October 21st, 2008 at 1:00 pm
Ever saw some celebs on .·:*¨ wealthyromanceS.Com¨*:·. ” This is an online dating service where wealthy singles can join who are looking for younger unattached people to enjoy their wealthy lifestyle with.
October 21st, 2008 at 3:38 pm
so what did we learn from this clip?
paparazi are basically retards with cameras and mary kate is working really hard on projecting the crazy, homeless lady persona
October 22nd, 2008 at 8:30 am
As much as I agree celebrities should be expected to endure a certain amount of harrassment from the paps becaus their famous…
…that as just creepy to watch!
I would have personally got out that car with a baseball bat and smashed those guys in the face for stalking me like that.
October 22nd, 2008 at 4:46 pm
That pap is funny. “I’m a cow. Mooo!”