Halle Berry is Stalking Me of the Day
Like all smart Americans, Halle Berry is setting up shop in Canada in the event Obama loses the election at least that’s what I think she’s doing.
She recently bought a house that is less than 1 hour away from me, because her pretty boy baby daddy model is from this shitty city I live in and I guess he’s getting homesick and wants his mommy and daddy involved in the upbringing of his million dollar lottery ticket and Halle Berry is committed to making her baby daddy happy, or some shit, because she just doesn’t want to be another statistic, you know single black parent in the ghetto that is Beverly Hills or Malibu or wherever the fuck they live.
I like the pretend that Esquire’s most beautiful girl of 2008 (not 1999 as you would assume) is moving her to be closer to me, but it’s fair to say she doesn’t think I exist, and the truth is I don’t really care that she exists. Sure, she’s hot for a black chick and all, but there’s lots of hot girls in the world, especially when you have no fucking standards, so who needs her.
The only good that can come from this is when I feel like making a million dollars by being a paparazzi and dropping in on them randomly when they are sleeping but I am too lazy or that and because I have a feeling she won’t be using the house at all, she just got it to shut her pretty boy up.
ST. HIPPOLYTE, QUE. – A small town in the Laurentians just got a little more beautiful. Oscar-winning actress Halle Berry and her Montreal partner, model Gabriel Aubry, have bought a house in St. Hippolyte, Que.
The million-dollar home, which the Hollywood star and her boyfriend reportedly bought several weeks ago, sits on 63 acres of land overlooking Molson Lake.’
Aubry, who is the father of Berry’s daughter, grew up near Montreal and his parents still live in the suburb of Laval.
“It feels great, Aubry said “Anything we can do in our own hometown is always a good feeling.”
The big coincidence is I was actually bidding on this property and she swept it from under my nose, when my offer of 14 dollars in quarters was rejected, so now I have reason to really hate her, instead of that whole hate her cuz she doesn’t answer my phone calls bullshit, but here’s the listing, if you care…
Surrounded by sixty-eight acres of privacy and seclusion, this country property features a five acre private spring fed lake and a three bedroom 2,500 sq. ft modern architectural home with various beautiful and original features. This gated estate is less than one hour from Montreal and is accessible by private road. Property has deeded access to Lac à L’Achigan which is less than one kilometer away. For those seeking complete privacy and security this site has it all !
Unique Amenities
Mountain View
Water View
Private Lake
WaterfrontLac Molson
$1,850,555 (1,850,000 CAD)
Saint-Hippolyte, Quebec, Canada
Estate
Single Family Home
Bedrooms: 3
Bathrooms: 1
Size: 2500 sq ft
Here is the house…
Here is a map of the area….if you want to really get to know her….by sneaking on the property late at night when she’s sleeping…
I expect to be invited to the sex parties….I don’t expect that to happen…But I figured I’d just throw it out there….or maybe plot a way to make it happen…but I am not very good at organizing things, and who really wants to see a tired mother who has spent the last 6 months in yoga in attempts to rejuvenate her vagina, at a sex party….
Here’s the Halle Berry Esquire shoot, where Esquire editors had some kind of relapse and thought that it was 1999 and named her the most beautiful girl in the world, a title, I’ve been using to get in girls pants the last 30 years, but it never seems to work out.
Here she is leaving Yoga over a month ago, because I like to stay current….and she likes the idea of her vagina snappin’ back to it’s original shape and tightness….
Here’s a really old one of her wearinga see through shirt while pregnant with pretty boy’s baby….because she’s slutty like that….
And for those of you who don’t care about real estate, here she is in Monster Ball, a pretty good sex scene, except for the whole Billy Bob Thorton part……
GO
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:36 pm
Now come on…she could have used that 1.6 million and bought a three-bedroom house on a 25-foot lot in Calgary.
I am not even joking about that.
October 23rd, 2008 at 2:39 pm
she’s hot for a Black chick and all?
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:12 pm
House? It’s a cottage in the Laurentians…betcha there’s not even a Timmy’s near by.
October 23rd, 2008 at 3:24 pm
OMG I miss Timmys.. Tim Bits for life yo!!
October 23rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
this is the most lame blog ever.
i only come on this accidently because dlisted has links, i start to read but your writing is so lame, like, embarrassingly not funny. i blush for you…
please take some wit and humour classes and then start this up again.
yikes, it’s like talking to someone via time machine to 1989…!
October 23rd, 2008 at 6:42 pm
Maybe she’s moving to quebec cuz she’s in hir dirty thirties, and we all know quebec is dirty in so many ways. And that’s why we love it!
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:21 pm
As if you just called Montreal a shitty city. It’s the coolest city in Canada, piss lips! I think you should move to Calgary, you’d fit in there.
And I agree with what BH said.
October 23rd, 2008 at 7:52 pm
“Hot, for a black chick” Were you serious…. Your blog is pathetic, Halle is a BEAUTIFUL woman in general you ass. Your Blog is not funny, nor is it worth my time anymore. And why in the hell would anyone want to move to Canada anyway. She could posted up in LA like everyone else.
October 23rd, 2008 at 10:25 pm
Everyone is trying to get out of Calgary, not in. That 3 bedroom will be 200k soon enough.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:35 am
Hot for a black chick? You limp dick wonder. Timewasting blog. You wish Halle would breath in your direction. Pathetic fool. I bet your flabby pasty ass wish you had Gabriel’s looks, no good looks period to get woman like Halle. I’ll never click on this link again.
October 24th, 2008 at 12:38 am
“Hot for a black chick…..” What the hell is wrong with you….I always thought you were a racist prick. As well as ignorant…..Halle is white as well…. I only came to your site through dlisted, you should be lucky. You’re blog is almost as entertaining as watching Mccain speak…..ALMOST.
October 24th, 2008 at 9:25 am
Uh, GoldenGirl, in case you haven’t noticed, your country is a cesspool of everything that is wrong in this world – rampant racism, a destroyed economy, the highest level of surveillance (and yes, that means higher than China) AND is set to vote in yet another bastard old white man and a dimwit for a VP. Why the hell wouldn’t see chose the better country?
October 25th, 2008 at 11:09 pm
“Halle Berry is setting up shop in Canada in the event Obama loses the election at least that’s what I think she’s doing.”
Perhaps she’s convinced that Obama will win, and she wants to move where people are sane — the Conservative government in Canada increased its number of seats in Parliament last week.
Why don’t you leave politics to the grownups and concentrate on the latest Hollywood whore to get drunk and piss herself or flash her nether region?!
October 26th, 2008 at 12:28 am
Joltin’ Django…the only reason the Conservatives win is because there’s a shitload of left-wing parties here and only one right-wing party, thus liberal votes are spread thin among all the left-wing parties, while all the greedy, ignorant conservative morons have one party to vote for. Nevertheless, Canada is still quite liberal in comparison to the US so you’re theory about Halle’s reasoning for moving here is idiotic.
And everyone is right about Calgary…it sucks and no one in their right mind would choose it over Quebec.
October 29th, 2008 at 12:00 am
If you think Montreal is so shitty why don’t you fucking move retard, lamest blog ever
December 1st, 2008 at 1:28 am
Somebody should pop a cap in your little pea size brain your shitface !!! Tell me where you live and maybe I’ll just come while your sleeping and shove a Umbrella in your fat ass and open it you Donkey Face ! You are the sickest psycho I’ve came across…. Please make me cross you on the street one day you sick fuck !