I'll Make You Famous…
 
 

2008

12

Dec

Audrina Patridge Goes Bikini Shopping of the Day

You know what pisses me off? The fact that I have spent my fair share of time hanging out on benches outside bikini and lingerie stores in various malls around the city for the last 20 years and for some reason everytime I spend a little too much time inside the store, playing a little too much with the bikini bottoms I know girls have freshly tried on, or even when I talk to the girls shopping and pretend I am a bikini designer or model scout lookin for inspiration while telling girls how amazing they look to get them to model shit for me, or when I just cheer at them to take it off, trying to give them that real Spring Break experience, or when I bust all my other smooth moves, and I’ve got a lot of them, I always get asked to leave. I even get asked to leave when I am just sitting outside the store on the bench eating popcorn, I get the same fucking abuse and I think I am officially banned from 4 stores and another 10 know to just ask me to back the fuck off if I spend too much time hanging around, and this paparazzi gets away with snapping off pictures of this bitch Audrina’s fake tits trying on her bikinis. I never even tried to bring a digital camera with me on my Bikini store journey and I guess that’s one more thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Another thing that pisses me off, that Audrina is shopping for bikinis for her Christmas vacation to some tropical place, where she will lay on the beach, drink and fuck in luxury, with money she made pretty much doing nothing, while I am buried in the fucking snow, with no money because that’s how most people who do nothing live. I guess that’s another thing to add to the Life isn’t Fair list.

Two Life isn’t Fair List Additions, what a productive Friday!!

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