Nicky Hilton Buys Toilet Paper of the Day
I have no fucking shame, nothing embarrasses me anymore and I think drinking has something to do with that. When I first started up this whole alcohol abuse thing when I was a teenager, I’d feel like an asshole when I did stupid things like tried to get my friend’s girlfriend’s naked, or touching girls inappropriately, or getting in fights, I’d wake up a self hater who didn’t want to show his fucking face. Then as time went on, I got into bigger messes, made a bigger fool of myself everytime I drank than I did the time before and I’d be tearing people apart, puking, pissing, shitting fucking anything and everything you’d think you’d wake up regretting, and instead I just embraced it. There were times I couldn’t get it up for girls I was about to fuck, or times I came too fast. There were times I probably took advantage of situations and did real evil things and I just figured it was all part of life, you know normal fuck ups.
That said, over all these years there are still two things that humiliate me. The first is walking out of a public bathroom that smells like shit after taking a piss, knowing the next person in line will assume I stank it up because I am fat, so whenever that happens I catch myself justifying myself to a guy I don’t know about how I didn’t take a fucking shit despite what it may look like. The other thing is buying toilet paper. I always feel like the clerk thinks I am groundhogging/ you know ready to fucking dump as I rush to pay her for the shit and for some reason, I feel like a caged animal being watched when I just want privacy.
I have suggested to people I know to invent toilet paper vending machines, I have resorted to stealing toilet paper from public bathrooms even when I have the 3 dollars to buy a pack, I have used old socks, magazines and newspaper on my ass to avoid this shopping experience as best as I fucking can and I find it way more destructive to my self than pulling out my mini dick to fuck a chick only to have her laugh at me….
By the looks of it, Nicky Hilton and her drippy asshole don’t have the same issue as me. Instead of getting her maid to do her dirty work, she proudly parades to the world that she shits, and that she most likely has to shit as she rushes to her car to get home before it end up on her car seat and the whole thing is disgusting to me, but not as disgusting as the possibility that she’s picking this shit up for her sister’s drippy pussy.
January 9th, 2009 at 1:35 am
I’d be padding the loo seat with toilet paper too if I knew Paris might drop in and share her yeast on my seat.