Sports Illustrated did a launch party for their magazine…even though all the pictures have been on the internet the last week….and I’m guess all the models featured in the magazine walked the red carpet…making the event what must be the equivalent of a UN meeting of hot pussy…So many international vaginas clothed to promote pictures of them half naked….an event they launched them into international stardom and gave them the stamp of approval that they are allowed to be in bikinis and hopefully will inspire women everywhere who don’t look like this to not pollute our lives by getting into a bikini before hitting the gym and starving themselves to look less sloppy than they do and more like these photoshopped bitches cuz these photoshopped bitches is what all men expect you to look like on the beach….so get crackin’

Here is the index or menu of the models in their every day clothes for you to cross reference with their half naked pics at SI.com

The real question in all this is why the fuck wasn’t I invited to this event? SI clearly doesn’t think I am important enough. Jerks.

This is like prom or some shit….

Irina Shyk

Chrissy Teigan

Esti Ginzburg

Jessica Gomes

Damaris Lewis

Hilary Rhodes

Kenza Fourati

Isabel Goulart

Shannon Click

Cintia Dicker

Bruna Schmitz

Brooklyn Decker

Julie Henderson

Alyssa Miller

Kate Upton

Genevieve Morton

Jessica White

Anne V

Posted in:SI