There is always something weird about seeing an older lady dressed like a teenage girl. I don’t find it hot now, because I like teenage girls and I’m not too into old ladies, but I will tell you this, if I was a young guy, I’d be applying for a job at American Apparel, because this whole hanging onto her youth bullshit, you know a bitch wearing shredded leggings, or a bitch in a sheer top, is a bitch who wants some young cock in her to help her forget her age or about her husband and annoying responsibilities, and they are usually the kind of bitch who will actually seduce a motherfucker in the changing room, you know ask him to adjust her bra for her, because life gets boring and depressing and the taste of youth makes it a little better, even if you look like a fucking clown in the process….

Pics via Fame

I don’t now why I am putting these pictures of Sienna Miller up. They are boring. She’s not topless and she’s not showing her hipster, cokehead bush. She’s not what she used to be, maybe this is a premature RIP motherfucker for for sex appeal.

Pics via INF

Here’s an over glorified American Apparel model, also known as Mischa Barton, hanging onto her career as hard as she can cause her management or PR people dropped her and she needs to survive by taking off her clothes…the way I like it.

What I don’t like is this fucking hipster trash, it’s taking over the mainstream, it is everywhere I fucking look, from Lady Gaga to fucking Sharon Stone. There are so many insecure fuckers, trying to be on top of the latest fashion craze or music craze all while sucking up to each other and reassuring each other that being as annoying and outrageous as possible will help people forget that 2 years ago they were listening to Britney Spears and wearing The Gap and Juicy Couture like they were Paris Hilton, because at the time it was the cool thing to do. Fucking shapeshifting assholes.

It is all so fucking contrived, but I guess all it takes is sucking up or sucking off to be make it in the world, so get fucking cracking cause I made the mistake of telling everyone to fuck themselves and I sleep on a shit stained box spring, not a life I’d recommend for anyone.

Bonus that’s not really a bonus, DJ AM’s social climbing record carrying, unattractive whore of a girlfriend is an American Apparel Model because she’s not hot enough to be a real model and here she is leaving some exclusive party he DJed at and she got into because she’s fucking him, when otherwise she’d be drinking pitchers of beer with kids in skinny jeans and flannel shirts as they count their trust fund change to buy some blow or some shit…

I was going to do this post about Lohan being hot for American Apparel last week because bitch is always in their leggings like she’s a Jewish Girl in a Jewish Girl Outfit of the day, or just like every other girl between the ages of 13 and 35 in Montreal. Then I saw these pictures from the other day of her rocking the shiny leggings all the cool kids are wearing while holding an American Apparel bag proving that Lohan dresses on a budget and you can dress like her too, or that she’s sponsored by the motherfuckers.

I was in an American Apparel the other day because I find it a good place to watch young girls try on tight things, which is one of my favorite ways to pass the time, and the woman standing next to me was Dov Charney’s mom. He’s the pervert who takes all the pictures you see in ads, billboards and on the site of young girls in provocative poses and has been hit with sexual harassment charges and has jerked off for reporters doing interviews with him as well as for girls who he got to clean his house in their underwear as a job intereview. He’s pretty much a hero to guys who like young sluts.

Either way, she was talking about how her son created the company and runs the company and how she’s so proud of him, then she started talking about her underwear which made me understand where dude gets his perversion from, because she looked 80 and 80 year olds talking about the shit closest to their vaginas is some perverted shit.

So I picked up a pair of boy short underwear and gave them to my neighbor’s teenage daughter for Christmas because I knew we’d be forced to go there for beer and potato chips. I gave her the gift and told her to try them on, then pulled out my camera and asked if she wanted to be like the girls in the ads and she started bending and lifting and twisting in ways she probably shouldn’t have been. When her mom walked in on us, she freaked out and called me a pervert and asked me to leave. I tried convincing her that I was just being hip and down with pop culture and this American Apparel phenomenon, but she wasn’t buying it and I can’t help but blame Lohan for making me do it, because everyday she’s shoving AA down my throat like I want to shove my cock down hers. Cuddles.

Bonus – Lohan’s Hot Friend