A source close to Ashley Tisdale emailed me telling me that she lies about her age. I was told that she’s actually 5 years older than she claims she is because she wanted to play teenage girls and didn’t think she’d make the cut if people knew she was 5 years older than she is. That’s the same kind of false advertising you use everytime you tell a girl that you have a big dick or that you are rich or whatever other lie you use to get laid, only in her case it worked.

I am really never against a girl lying about her age, I actually really support it when I meet girls in bars and they tell me that they are 18 or 20 when I know they are 15 or 16, it makes trying to fingerbang them a little easier to live with and a lot less illegal.

All this to say, that whether Ashley Tisdale is 28 or 23, she’s still a fucking dog of a girl and her lies about her age are the least of her concerns and reconstructive surgery is a priority.

Bonus That’s Not Really a Bonus - Here are Some Pictures of Her Leaving the Gym in Effort to Keep Her Youthful Physique