Audrina may be useless, but she still got to get into a bikini for Maxim and not look entirely bad doing it.
Sure she has a weird face and is dumber than shit, but like all Sex Dolls all you need to do is to replace her head with a new one when you save up enough money to buy the better quality one, we get it, you’re on a budget, there’s an economic crisis going on and you don’t have a job so when you had to decide whether to go with the fat body or the busted face you went with the busted face and I think you made the right choice, because you don’t fuck the face, and you can always upgrade the head. Sure she came more defective than you thought, like how my family bought a Thanksgiving Turkey that had no legs, because the second rate, cripple turkeys are cheap as hell and still fuckin’ turkey and that’s better than last year’s baked beans. If you get what I am saying….
So one day soon, after the economic crisis blows over, it won’t be as much of a struggle to believe she’s actually a real person when you attach a string to its mouth to make it look like it’s talking about politics and the economy and like it’s not actually retarded despite looking retarded, while you have one hand manning the string and the other on the big fake tit getting primed for a nice night together, with the curtains drawn, because your mom’s out on a date. You just have to wait it out and deal with the shit, before getting the gold….
Asking Audrina about politics is like asking a gerbil for it’s opinion on the genocide in Rawanda. Both are entertaining for some, but leave you little to work with. The empty whore with no soul who everyone is in love with right now is fucking useless and despite not really having any obligation to answer the canned shitty questions from the paparazzi, could at least use her platform for some insight on something, if she just knew what the definition of insight is, and for girls like Audrina, thank fucking god there’s such thing as breast implants, because without them, she’s be scared and alone in her parents house with an exciting future of marrying someone rich lined up for her. Either way, the video sucks, but I am posting it anyway.
Audrina may not be smart, or very good looking, unless of course you are the kind of guy who volunteers at institutions designed for handicapped people because you find them so fuckin’ sexy with their chronic masturbations and glassy eyed, drooling smile, but she does have a rockin’ body and I am all for girls who lack substance and beauty making up for it through working out, eating disorders and even a good set of fake tits, even if I hate fake tits, they are sometimes nice to look at if done right and despite hating everything this fake bitch stands for, I can’t dis the boob job cuz she was done proper and it’s not like I’m fucking her or paying her for lap dances and forced to suck or grab at the hard weirdness implants feel like. I’m just window shopping….
Speaking of shopping, it’s nice to see that Audrina has taken some time away from wasting her life and filling her days with spending ridiculous amounts of money on designer clothes to fill her empty life and has got into her bikini, because when you have pretty much nothing to do with your days except star in a shitty reality show I want to see hit by a terrorist attack, you might as well do it half naked.
I guess her life is one that should be envied, but that’s not saying much coming from me because I envy the weirder shit life has to offer, like the other day when drunk, I went into a gas station to grab some candy at 5 am and saw some cracked out hooker walking around in bare feet, screaming at the clerk and trying to be lead back into the cab she came from by her John and the cab driver, only to end up pissing herself and making a mess all over the floor and being abandoned by the cab. It was nice to see that she was so fucked up she had no concept of anything going on around her, the world was her to do what she wanted, when she wanted, with no fear of getting raped or killled and the conventions everyone else has to follow like having a job, being civil and wearing shoes. The whole time I was thinking to myself how much better her life was than mine, so I guess my expectations are pretty low.
I am sick and just woke up from my nap of death, unfortunately for you, whatever virus is raping me hasn’t killed me yet and I feel obliged to fuckin’ post useless pictures you have probably already seen because I am a creature of fucking habit.
I don’t find Audrina hot at all. Her mangled retard face reminds me of the time this drug addicted bitch, who coincidentally looked a lot like Audrina’s sister with all those stupid fucking tattoos that don’t manage to cover up the fact that she’s fucking ugly, but do distract us from noticing just how fucking ugly she is, kinda the same strategy Audrina uses in working out and getting fake tits,……I forgot where I was going with this….but I do know that Audrina in her retard state doesn’t know where the fuck she is and she’s turning to her sister to help her, like she did as a baby and couldn’t grasp the concept of what a fucking toilet was.
I also know that I would rather be at a pool party staring at hot bodied pussy, than dying on my shitty fucking couch.
I was stuck sitting next to a couple that was making out hard at the bar last night. Every time the annoying dude would get his tongue down the bitches throat or his hand up her shirt her fatter friend would come in and break them up because I thought she didn’t like seeing her friend fall for this loser’s shitty game because she was fat and fat girls like attention but it turned out that she was jealous and wanted the loser for herself and they were pretty much fighting over him, that never happens to me, I don’t know how it ended because I couldn’t deal with that kind of Soap Opera drama when I just wanted to get drunk and break things.
That story has nothing to do with Audrina Patridge and her fake tits that her dad got her when she was 16, at least that’s what I was told, but like the fat chick no one should give this bitch the time of day, but for some reason there’s always some asshole lame enough to inflate her ego and that asshole is you because you find this shit hot, when all I see is last week’s kitchen garbage.
