I was pretty surprised to see Hayden Panettiere signing autographs because if I saw her in person, I’d be more inclined to challenge her to a wrestling match, and not the kind that I used to challenge girls to as foreplay that lead to me getting a boner and them ending up giving me a blow job, I am talking the kind of wrestling match this strong-man is training for that leads me in a coma because she’s quicker and stronger than a old washed up drunken cigar smoking pervert. If she turned me down, I’d just kick bitch in the knee to see how she reacts because I know that under that dress is a testosterone charged dude who really likes washing her face, at least that what she says in her commercial that is always on at my neighbors’ house….I know Hayden wouldn’t lie to me, not even for a big Neutrogena paycheck, she’s too busy doing push-ups for that.

Last I checked, My So Called Life was canceled over a decade ago. I know all the grunge kids related to this intense bitch and all her drama and flannel because no one knew what cutting was in the 90s. Her fan base should be grown up by now and over it, you know working and taking care of their kids and shit. But I guess this is a Megan Fox dating the dude from 90210 situation, because it looks like someone is asking Claire Danes for an autograph like she matters. I guess people are just into celebrities and her being asked for an autograph is the same reason dudes like Dane Cook or Jamie Kennedy or any motherfucker who’s been on TV at least once fuck groupie bitches when they roll through your hometown, even though dudes like that aren’t relevant enough to have groupies, because local girls think it’s a status symbol because they are idiots.

I can only assume that she’s either got some dude on payroll who pretends to be a fan to make her feel famous, or maybe she’s signing it for some blind kid, because anyone who have eyes that work will notice that bitch is so fucking busted that she reminds me of my childhood Christmas when all I’d get was broken toys and she has some green fucking teeth like she’s been sucking off the Grinch or maybe just not brushing because she’s too busy not having a career anymore.