Lindsay Lohan was offered 1,000,000 dollars from OK magazine to announce she’s a lesbian. Call me a sell out, but I’d get a sex change and suck a dick a day for the rest of my life for 1,000,000 dollars. I figure I hate fucking my wife anyway and my penis is pretty much already a vagina and I can afford to buy expensive moist toilettes to wipe my face down when the dick is done having it’s way with me. I guess I am just cheaper than Lohan and realize that 1,000,000 dollars probably isn’t much to her, but I also don’t give a fuck about what having a sex change or sucking dick for the rest of my life does to my career, I think it’s pretty clear I have no self-respect and don’t care what you think about me.

Either way, here’s Lohan’s potentially lesbian vagina covered in a hot pair of clean black underwear exposed as she fights with the wind, who turned out to be the biggest pervert at event because I wasn’t invited because no one takes me seriously, but if I was invited, I would have definitely put on a wig and a short skirt and finger-banged her because I hear she’s into that and don’t need to give her 1,000,000 dollars to find out.

On a side note, I will pay Ellen Page 2 dollars to admit she’s a lesbian, even though I already know the answer to that.