So when Christina Aguilera is supposed to at home with her relatively newborn child, she’d found more fun things to do because no one likes to be held down to staying in everynight, even if it’s for their offspring. If anything it’s a fucking pain in the ass burden and going out is the only way to forget how bad of a decision it was to not have had that abortion but the good news for Christina is that she has a lot of fans and if she really wanted freedom, she could just put that shit up on Ebay and everyone would go crazy trying to bid for it so that they can have a living piece of this slut making her some extra money, but that exit strategy is much more frowned upon than just leaving it at home with the babysitter.

I remember when I was a kid, my foster parents had to go to some church event and they hired the neighbor’s daughter to watch over me. Within about 10 minutes she wanted to fuck her boyfriend and use the empty house to make that happen, the only problem was that I was there, so she strapped me to the bed with rope and turned out my bedroom light and came in with a lighter and said if I made a noise she’d burn down the fucking house, I was only about 10 but it was probably one of the hottest experiences of my life. Sure some of the kids I knew were getting crazy chicks who would breast feed them or touch them inappropriately and mine was only into mild bondage but it was good enough for me.