Carrie Underwood landed a free trip to the Bahamas and all she had to do was swim with the Dolphins. It’s like the marketing campaign at the Atlantis, because year after year, I’ve seen second tier celebrities spend weekends at the resort in exchange for some photo shoot with the dolphins and her whale of a friend.

In a lot of ways, I wish they were a little more creative about generating buzz about their shit, because I don’t give a fuck about swimming with dolphins, I care about naked fucking girls, and the real easy way to get that hustle under control would be spy cams in her suite. That shit would get a hell of a lot more airtime than her ill fitting wet suit pictures. Maybe a career in tourism and hotel management is in my fucking cards….and until then here’s the boring shit we’re forced to deal with until that happens…

But at least Carrie Underwood has shown us our fat manager so that we can fantasize about being in a club and seeing her across the bar, where we proceed to hustle her and get into her pants by joining her party, only to get bombarded by her ugly pig friend who is jealous of all the attention she gets, only to decide that we’re the guy she wants, and that she’ll make sure the thin blonde won’t go for us, because it’s their fat turn for male attention for a change and you just happen to be the sucker who has to give it to her…..

And here are all the bikini pics I have access to…I am sure there are more around the Internet so google the shit….or follow this link to see more Carrie Underwood Bahamas Bikini Pics

Pics via INF

It is the off season, which means that the unemployed and Joe Six Pack can take a vacation to a resort designed for the stars that is more like Disneyland than a peaceful getaway, not that I’ve ever been to either, because that is only because I have given up on the consumer ideal of vacation, but turning my life into a permanent vacation, by not having a job and the only thing I really ever want to get away from is my wife and I can do that through hard drinking, but that’s not the point, the point is that Kendra Wilkinson, Hugh Hefner’s recently exiled girlfriend has been doing the resort circuit, last week in the Domincan, this week in the Bahamas and she gets to do such exciting and useful things like judge bikini contests. Sure it’s not saving the fucking whales, or helping fundraise for AIDS or Breast Cancer, but it’s a pretty huge accomplishment for someone who’s only ability is being able to take off her clothes for Playboy.