Looks like my site’s been hacked again. For some reason when people land on it they are re-directed to the Game Show Network corporate site. I don’t know what the fuck is going on but I do know that I blame some virgin with computer skills who got offended cuz i called his girlfriend a slut and by girlfriend i mean a celebrity he thinks he is dating because he watches all her DVDs over and over and has photoshopped himself in every paparazzi shot he can find of her and printed them up and put them in frames around his house.
I get really frustrated with the constant hacking, I get it, you don’t like me, you think I am offensive, I hurt your feelings and go against things you stand for and you think I deserve to be taught a lesson, but no lesson is taught, it just proves that you have better computer skills than me and it’s not going to put an end to what I do, what does put an end to what I do, is if you stop coming to the site and stop reading it, it’ll be like I don’t really exist anymore and that’s a lot cooler than your vigilante nerd shit that just causes minor headaches for my hosting company, and reminds me that the internet is still a place for fucking losers, like it was designed to be…..
What doesn’t cause headaches is Isla FIsher in a one-piece bathing suit doing gymnastics for Borat and their baby, because she knows as a new mother bouncing back into shape, it’s best to keep that stretch-marked mess of your stomach covered up….now if only she covered up that vagina when having unprotected sex with Borat, because the world didn’t need to be polluted with another Borat, there are enough of those assholes still bars and still quoting his movie when approaching girls like shit didn’t hit theaters 2 fuckin’ years ago…and to my amazement, girls still laugh at the shit and take off their panties for that shit and is just another reminder that I suck at life because I just can’t conform to that garbage.
I have met Pizza Restaurant owner Caroline D’Amore, because that’s just the quality of “celebrity” this site puts me in contact with and in reality shit had absolutely nothing to do with this site, and more to do with my alcoholism. This is the story.
It was a Wednesday and I was looking for something to do and this guy I knew invited me to some celebrity DJ event at a chachi bar, where there was no cover charge and where he would be buying bottles of vodka because there was some kind of deal at the bar because it was mid-week.
The DJ was Caroline D’Amore and I thought I had never heard of her, so I went because I was in the mood to get drunk and have a good laugh. After a bunch of drinks, this skinny, Celine Dion lookin’ girl gets up behind the turntables, which happened to be right next to my friends table and I start listening to her set.
I don’t DJ and don’t know much about DJing, but knew that this bitch was killing every single mix, making each song sound like it was violently raping the next song while she did that Paris Hilton dance behind the turntables. I started laughing and made faces at her and she was starting to notice and obsess over me and my mocking. Within 10 minutes of my pointing and ridiculing her, she turns to the club promoter and calls him over, tells him that she’s quitting her set about 20 minutes into it and when he asked why, she points at me and says I am being an asshole and lauging at her.
I find the whole thing amazing, until the promoter and his pussy security make a circle around me and threaten to beat me up and kick me out for fuckin’ with Caroline and Caroline decides to get involved and tell me how much of an asshole I am. I deny because I don’t need to really drive the point home, bitch already quit her set and I take her aside, tell her about my site and that I was just teasing to get her attention because I have a crush on her and tease girls I crush on because I have the same level of game as a ten year old.
It turns out she knew about the site and said that I had written about her cameltoe in the past , I told her that I didn’t remember but that I fucking love cameltoe and that she should keep bringing the goods, she gave me a hug, forgave me for mocking her and left me. Since then, she has continued her DJ career, while I continue my cameltoe blogging, never to cross paths again, but the fact that she knew the site made me forget that she sucked as a DJ and made me a fan, even if only for 5 minutes and mainly because I wanted to get invited back to her hotel to watch her shower, but that didn’t happen. What has happened is that everytime she’s been back to Montreal, she’s made a point of not emailing me or inviting me out to her event or to grab some pizza and I feel pretty rejected about the whole thing because I thought we were friends, but at least I can still post about her vagina tightly wrapped in a bathing suit. No one can take that away from me.
Whoever said that big is beautiful was wrong and these pictures of Queen Latifah prove that, so does my wife when she runs around the house in her underwear. These pictures also prove the quality of floatation devices, because I know that if I was the poor fucker she was riding, I wouldn’t be holding up so well. I guess the good news for some of you sick fucks who don’t care how fat a chick is as long as she has tits, is that she’s not too embarrassed to get into a bathing despite, even though she should be.
Iliana Fischer is some Playboy model who is on the beach with her only friend because he never judges her for being a slut who gets naked for getting ahead and by ahead I mean make enough money to pay her rent because I’ve never heard of her so that usually means she’s pretty much just a nobody and I surprised she’s even made it into Playboy considering her body is nothing to freak out over. Sure she’s got the fake blonde hair but I’m thinking that t was because some make a wish foundation dream or something.
I like how she’s wearing some kind of University Sweatshirt, it makes her whole bullshit story while working the local strip club pole more believable. Sure you’re going to Med School sweetheart, I’m ok way grabbing your tits in exchange for 10 dollars you can put towards your “tuition” and by tuition I mean up her nose, because you’ve gotta be on drugs to be this kind of women at least that’s what I’ve learned throughout my worldly travels to the local strip club.
Here are some pictures of Paris Hilton in some weird gold bathing suit or outfit at her Malibu Beach Party home reminding me of a Jewish grandmother on the beaches of Miami, not because I have ever been to Miami but because Jewish grandmother’s like to match their tacky outfits and they like to show false enthusiasm when they see babies…because they remember that their own kids ruined their bodies and they never really got over that….
I was emailed by a girl I once knew telling me that I make her pussy wet. I think she was trying to humor me because being the resident pervert, girls sometimes get a little crazy and like to share their craziness with me. It rarely happens, but it did this past weekend and I responded by saying that the only pussies I have ever made wet were all the pussies I ever came in contact with but as soon as the roofies wore off, the bitches dried up pretty quick and didn’t end there, they would always end up hurting me and press charges against me, leaving me fucked but always knowing to myself that I made their pussies wet even if they weren’t 100 percent there in spirit to enjoy my skill….
Either way, Paris and her ego probably think they deserve to be gold plated and that’s why she is doing it in her wardrobe choices. She loves herself so much that bitch thinks she’s a fucking trophy, the thing she tends to forget is that this trophy comes with a lot of fucking baggage, like herpes and there’s nothing fun about herpes except for maybe if your into playing connect the dots like Pee Wee Herman…Notice how bitch is getting fatter and fatter, I guess you could blame that Entourage motherfucker for filling her up with his cum, but I like to think that it’s cuz she emotionally eats herself to sleep everyday…
It seems like the quickest way out of the LA ghetto these days is not a basketball or crate of oranges but a fancy camera. Every TMZ video I watch has black dudes with kick’n cameras and a bunch of Mexicans yellling at each other and shouting ‘Lindsay!’
This is NYC and TMZ was definitely not involved in this old lady shoot in the middle of fucking Central Park with Lisa Rinna. I don’t know what demon spawn art director commissioned this crap but he should be shot, maybe tortured first. Basically one swimsuit was stolen from Paris Hilton and the other she borrowed from her mother in the nursing home. Yeah her body is slamm’n for an old woman but her collagen lips look like a pink, glossy anus. I can’t remember why (nor do i give a flying fuck) why this bitch is famous but I know she is on some cable ’so you think you can give a lapdance’ show or whatever. She is made of lube and plastic, with some rubber for mobility, and is married to this Mark Hamil fag who has had tons of surgery too. Men who have plastic surgery end up looking like trannies and should just wear makeup and a skirt to get it over with. I bet when Lisa and her husband have sex it sounds like plastic bumping up against plastic, like Ken and Barbie rubbing each other all hot and heavy. The problem is Ken and Barbie have no dick or vagina, so it must be hard for Lisa and her husband to really fuck since they have no real sex organs.
Obediently yours,
Sugar Nell (ex-hooker, friend of Jesus)
I came across these pictures of Paris in a bathing suit in Maui and figured I should post them since celebrity in bikinis is 90 percent of what I do. I don’t consider Paris to be a real celebrity, I don’t think she’s got anything interesting going on, I don’t really understand the reason everyone is so interested in her, but she’s on the beach and that’s more than I can say for you, so that is why she gets coverage on this shitty site. Reality is that I am pretty easy to please and half naked is all I really ever need for a post, so I don’t mind making your famous, if you’re willing to take it off.
I was reading an article on MSN about how to seduce billionaires to marry you. I am exploring new business options because the internet isn’t doin it for me and there’s gotta be some black sheep fat retarded daughter of a rich dude that they keep locked up in the basement who is lonely enough for someone like me. I don’t know where the article is but it lead me to all these different high society sites. I didn’t realize that people actually care about the family and kids and wives of these extremely rich dudes. I always thought their lives were boring with all that keeping up appearances, going to art gallery exhibits and donating time and money to charity. There are probably scandals that would be more interesting than the shit Paris gets into and there are probably nude pics, sex tapes and other exciting scandals filling up their guest houses, but I’ll never see them because I have no idea who any of these high society people are.
I need Entertainment Tonight and Access Hollywood to let me know who to watch out for and not all these rich kids aren’t into the whole L.A. Fame Game.
I did harass a couple of them on Facebook a while ago. One of them was the daughter of some record exec and another one was the daughter of some other big company. It turns out that they have no sense of humor and either do I, that’s why this post fucking sucks. It happens. It’s Monday. I hate you.
I guess it’s nice to see Paris back on all fours and half naked as she rides her surfboard, because it reminds us that Jail can’t change a person, except for maybe giving someone more publicity than they have seen since the release of a sex tape.
I am about as into Beyonce as I am into beastiality. Not because I am a racist but because bitch reminds me of a dog. A very big dog with an angelic bark that wants me to say its name and feels like its a survivor who spends her days being lazy as fuck doing nothing while people like you have to work.
I guess you could argue that she paved her own way, she made her own money, she did her own thing and worked really hard for a few years to get where she is, but I can’t help buy be bitter about things, not because I feel like I deserve her life, but I do feel like some people don’t deserve fame and fortune for such menial things like singing.
My biggest issue with celebrity, and I don’t want to get preachy, because preachy is fucking boring and I don’t really give a fuck about it, but I will say that there are a lot of people out there who help people, who do good things, who make the world work, and who spend their lives slaving away to support their families and to better themselves and have nothing to show for it. They end up dying from the stress, or living broke as shit in a shitty apartment, unable to do much but wait until their time is up. Sure they may have good families, they may be satisfied but when bitches like this rub it in our faces living their life of excess, I just think it’s greed.
There’s so much shit going on out there, there is so much the kind of money this bitch makes in a year could do to help, and even if she goes on some Oprah kick and opens a school or gives a million dollars to charity it would be the equivalent of someone who makes 30,000 dollars a year giving 100 dollars to some poor kid foundation. I guess 100 dollars is a lot when you only make 30,000 a year, but it base cost of living takes priority. When you make 20,000,000 dollars a year, you have enough to pay you base living costs and even if bitch was to clear 1,000,000 dollars a year after all is said and done, she’s still living better than the rest of us.
So here are some pictures of Pam Anderson and her retarded magician friend on the TODAY Show performing their act. His biggest magic trick is foolin us into thinking that Pam Anderson still has a career after Hepatitis.. Proving that a career based on big tits does have staying power, even though, this shitty gig is less status than being a Price is Right girl, it’s almost as bad as working the local car show, but she’s doing it in a one piece bathing suit and that’s good enough for me because lookin at her obscenely huge cans and weird discolored rash/scar/birthmark reminds me of what dreams are made of.
I am posting a post that a girl sent into me. I wasn’t going to post it but she bribed me with pussy pictures of herself and I am all about box shots. So here’s her post on some cunt named Scott Baio and his new reality TV show that no one will watch. The tie in is that he slammed Pam Anderson.
I am - Beating a Dead Horse Named Scott Baio with My Clit Ring of the Day
I don’t know about you, but when I used to turn on the TV to watch some music videos, you’d turn on MTV or VH1. That line of thinking is apparently wrong. VH1 has decided that Scott Baio would be their newest edition to the already overpopulated laundry list of shitty reality TV shows starting in July. Chaci is now 45 years old and single. The difference between you and Baio is that he didn’t have to jerk it to Pam Anderson, he actually got to fuck her (pre-tit job) and they were once engaged. Baio lost his virginity to Erin Moran, his co-star on Happy Days, fucked Charles in Charge and future Baywatch babe, Nicole Eggert. Denise Richards and Heather Locklear have both slept with Baio as well as Brooke Shields. Even Liza Minnelli wanted his sperm. Weird. Erika Eleniak, Nicolette Sheridan, Beverly D’Angelo and Natalie Raitano have all been slammed by the native New Yorker along with countless other playmates. Chaci has been a staple at the Playboy mansion for the last few decades. The only thing you could possibly relate to in Baio’s reality is that he’s forty-five and single and if you’re not there yet, you will be.
During the show, Scott Baio is 45… And Single!, Baio asks the question, “How can I have been with some of the hottest women in Hollywood and still be single?” Well, probably because boinking all those sluts left his dick looking like it went through a meat grinder and sprinkled with parsley. Next year,Scott Baio is 46… And Dead!
Unfortunately this post reads like a fucking wikipedia entry, and this bitch has more business writing press releases for VH1 than she does for me. It didn’t make me laugh but I have been known to be a bit of a joke snob, not because I think I am the funniest motherfucker out there, but because it’s hard to make a broken bird laugh. At least that’s my theory as to why I find every obvious joke I read offensive.
On the positive side of things, it does prove the things I will do for pussy. I am pretty fucking easy, some would call me a whore, others call me a creep but above everything, I am a pervert.
I hate posting tagged images, but since I can’t find these anywhere and have no budget to buy the rights to use pictures and even if I did have the budget to buy the rights to use pictures I doubt I would pay because I think paparazzi are scummy pieces of shit who exploit people and I don’t support scummy pieces of shit who exploit people financially.
Either way, this is Katie Holmes on the beach somewhere with her daughter that she had with Tom Cruise. The whole scientology thing and his whole insanity thing doesn’t really bother me as much as the gay rumors. Living in Montreal, I’ve met many gay dudes over the years whether it be one of my friend’s wive’s hairdresser or just some random washed up fags in the places I drink who all have the same story about this fucker in the 90s. It goes a little something like this. Tom Cruise would fly into the city on a private jet, discreetly make his way to the gay village in the city and have sex with little french boys for days at a time. I have no real proof to back this shit up, because I wasn’t one of those little french gay boys and I don’t know anyone who directly stuffed this fucker like a turkey, but I do know that the story is always told the same by everyone who ever brings it up.
That said, here’s the vagina he had sex with at least once rockin’ a one piece because she knows that no one wants to see her post pregnancy ravaged stomach or the proof that there was no pregnancy at all, and that her 9 months were just a series of pregnant bitch costumes. They say she’s pregnant again but it doesn’t look like it in these pics. That’s pretty much all I have to say about that.
Pam Anderson is Kissing some Magician named Hans Klok at his magic show. Magic shows are pretty fucking lame, but I can only assume virgins are into this shit, like they are into wrestling and computer games and that’s part of the reason I am posting them. See, I totally work for you.
I guess the only really magic at this event is that this hag can still pull off a bathing suit in public. But lots of money in plastic surgery and maintenance isn’t really all that magical…I do know that nothing says party like Pam Anderson in a one piece bathing suit, showing off her old haggard body that is probably hotter than any body you’ve ever seen at your local strip club, I know that you still jerk off to this whore, because that’s what a legacy does. No matter how old she gets we will always remember what she was and reality is, she still has something working for her, even if she’s plastic.
Speaking of plastic, I was leaving a strip club a couple of nights ago with a friend of mine who had been there about 2 hours before I showed up. He spent most of his welfare check on this one bitch in the booth and kept going on about how horny she made him. She had huge fake tits and looked like she dreamt of being Pam Anderson. When we walked by a dollar peep show that pretty much plays clips of porn for a dollar dude walked in. He told me to wait outside. About 3 minutes later he walked out and had just rubbed one out. He was sold on how amazing these things were and I thought the whole thing was fucking hysterical. I have never done the whole peepshow thing and probably never will. I watch too much porn on the computer and shit does nothing for me, so paying a dollar to sit in a booth where dirty fucking men have busted nut is not my idea of a good fucking time. I do think that it is a good option for someone like you though, seeing as you never get laid and masturbation has become boring. It’s kind like the middle ground between doing it on public transit to switch things up but still being private enough for you to not get arrested.
Here are some pictures of Jenna Jameson modeling a one-piece bathing suit for some reason I don’t really understand. I know historically, the one piece bathing suit was designed for girls who had no business wearing a bathing suit to begin with, but you know, people have to have fun and just because they don’t look good in a bikini shouldn’t mean that they shouldn’t go swimming, even though I don’t go swimming in public because I think my stomach is pretty fucking offensive, but I guess I am just a girl about things.
That said, the one piece has started making it’s way back into the public because it’s one of those things where you show too much for so long that when you’re a little covered up it leaves things all mysterious and more to the imagination and shit. So I see how this works for girls at the public pool, but for someone like Jenna Jameson, who we’ve all seen in porn, it’s a little too late for the whole leaving anything to the imagination, except for maybe what she smells like, but that’s something you’ll always have to imagine while sitting at home, dick in hand.
That said, does anyone even jerk off to this chick? She doesn’t get me all hot and bothered and I am wondering why she’s such a success doing what she does, which isn’t saying much because I am convinced any girl can become as big as she did in porn, but the girls who are capable of doing it, have too many morals and values and refuse to fuck on camera….
That said, here she is in a one-piece bathing suit. How many times can I used “that said” in a post…I am aiming for a world record. Cuddles.
