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Archive for the ‘Beach’ Category

Laetitia Casta is Ready to Drop Pregnancy Porn on the Beach of the Day

Thursday, July 9th, 2009

I never really knew what Laetitia Casta did, but she was all the rage on the internet a bunch of years ago, but that time is long gone as she is no longer the hot half naked slut in pictures, but the pregnant mom on the beach who is ready to fuckin’ drop. Now I know some people find pregnancy beautiful and natural but I find it the most disgusting and unnatural lookin thing that could happen to a woman’s body and knowing someone fucks this is almost as disturbing as you jerking off to it.

Victoria Beckham’s Ass on the Beach of the Day

Tuesday, July 7th, 2009

Victoria Beckham and David Beckham are celebrating their anniversary on the beach. She is wearing some variation of a bikini that I don’t fully understand but assume have something to do with not wanting to show off her violated stomach from having babies, but I could be wrong, not that you care about what she’s wearing while David Beckham is standing next to her in a white speedo, because nothing says homo like a white speedo, and nothing says almost gay like 98 percent of European soccer fans I’ve met over the years who claim to have a non-sexual crush on this motherfucker, they just respect his fitness level, his talent in the sport and his chiseled good looks, and I am sure can’t help but wonder if they get see thru when wet, I mean it’d be just a small taste of what life in the locker room with him was like, something all those dudes would just love to experience but just for a day.

Nicky Hilton in See Thru Shirt on the Beach of the Day

Monday, July 6th, 2009

It’s funny that one daughter from a family can turn out to be pretty low profile and off the radar, who stays out of the media spotlight and who uses her priviledged life to set up businesses that she likes, while the other one turns into a heavy cumslut attention craving piece of shit whore with a sex tape and no fuckin’ shame or dignity, just an eye on the dollars and camera flashes, willing to do and say anything to get noticed because her dad didn’t hug her enough as a kid. It doesn’t really make sense to me, because after watching Paris all these years you’d expect her younger sister to be the kind of girl willing to suck off Paris on the dancefloor at some club, because of constant sisterly competitiveness in one-uppin’ each other, just in hopes of getting people to talk about her, but instead she just walks the beach covered up with her boyfriend who is wearing some annoying “rich person humor” hoodie. Assholes.

Maria Del Alamo and Gary Dourdan and the Beach of the Day

Thursday, July 2nd, 2009

This girl’s face may be a little bullshit and I’m not just saying that becuase there’s some brown motherfuckin shit all up on it, I am saying that because she’s got the kind of nose that makes you think you’re jerking off to a caricature you bought on the boardwalk, but whatever the fuck is goin on with her body is pretty fuckin’ alright by me.

Her name is Maria, she’s trying to remind us of some new age West Side Story, when really all she is is the dude from CSI’s drug connect frontin as his love interest, because it makes things less suspect. I’m onto you, when really I’d just want to be cumming on you. Word.

Dude from Grey’s Anatomy’s Wife on the Beach of the Day

Friday, June 19th, 2009

The big news to housewives and single middle aged women today is that Grey’s Anatomy star just quit the show and they’ve been forced to retire their vibrators on whatever nigth it is on, to do something else with their time, like emotionally eat the loss away.

The big news to me is that he married a black girl 15 years ago and they have 5 kids together. That’s on some next level shit cuz I can’t even get black girls to talk to me when in line at KFC together and I make awkward conversation about how good a deal this crazy tuesday 2 dollar chicken is….

Emilie de Ravin and Robert Pattinson on the Beach Makin’ Out of the Day

Friday, June 19th, 2009

Here’s some cunt from Lost with a stupid name that reminds me of bad poetry you’d expect some art fag who decided to chat you up in a bar one night, when all you wanted was to get fuckin’drunk alone, but instead have to listen to him cry about his life philosophy, like I give a fuck.

She is on the beach with her useless ass in useless shorts and a useless bikini top with useless tits, making out with the teen hearthrob Robert Pattinson, who hit big because of that piece of shit money making scam that is Twilight, which only makes sense, because she hit big because of that money making scam that is Lost.

Fuck all these motherfuckers and their bullshit. That’s all I gotta say about that.

Meital Dohan is and Israeli Actress in a Bikini of the Day

Tuesday, June 9th, 2009

I don’t know much about Israel. I do know it’s a country that was built on some Arab country’s land to give Jews a home because the world felt bad about them during the Holocaust.

I have a few friends from the local Starbucks who got to visit Israel for free because they were Jewish and some organization wanted to brainwash them into feeling guilty that they weren’t in Israel defending their promised land.

I hear they have good beaches, hot bitches, and that Israeli Jews are more hardcore, fun and interesting that North American jews who are whiny, wheezy, wimpy and have this superiority complex and think the rest of the world doesn’t exist, making them annoying to be stuck behind in line, or serving in a restaurant, not to mention a lot of the girls look like rats, with their weird hook noses, eyes that are too close together and health issues all from inbreeding, I mea some of them have dad’s who were smart enough to marry a non-Jew to get some new genes in the pool, or are nice enough to buy beauty with plastic surgery, the right clothes, and weekly hair appointments, so they aren’t ALL gremlin-lookin motherfuckers…

So I have no idea who Meital Dohan is, but she’s an Israeli actress, she’s on the beach and here tit is falling out of her bikini and it’s alright….

Here are some Israeli’s or People in Jurusalem Hating on Obama, calling Him a Nigger, Cuz They are Racists, But I am Pretty sure they are all North American Jews…I Can Tell by the Bratty Frat Boy Twang….I like the guy who says he just wants pussy…watch it….

Video Via: ProseBeforeHos

Amy Winehouse Rocks the Interracial Relationship in a Bra of the Day

Friday, May 29th, 2009

The problem with this Amy Winehouse relationship with a black man is that you can’t tell if motherfucker is gold diggin’, you know trying to live the Good Life like he was Kanye West, by riding off this bitch’s success, or whether he’s just getting up in that because she’s white, you know because black dudes will fuck the most disgusting white girl. Not that Amy Winehouse is really pure white, I hear she’s rotting from the inside and has a black pussy that matches her soulful black voice. I actually did hear that, but definitely assume that and it’s all part of the reason why I masturbate to her pictures….

Sanaa Lathan and Her Half Naked White Sex Slave of the Day

Tuesday, May 26th, 2009

I don’t know who this Sanaa LAthan bitch is but I do know she’s on some reverse racism kick. She drags out some white girl to parade around her half naked, to fetch her drinks while showing the world her G-String assed, like some kind of worthless objectified whore, in some sort of revenge that all of Sanaa’s black men have left her pussy for the forbidden fruit that is white pussy and she’s gonna make sure the white pussy knows its place.

I could be wrong, I mean they could be friends and the white girl is just some kind of exhibitionist who likes getting a nice even tan, but there’s no fun in friendship, but there is fun in slavery, especially when its a sex slave.

Some Dude Named Jesse Spencer and His Girlfriend Louise Griffiths’ Bad Implants on the Beach of the Day

Tuesday, May 19th, 2009

I have no idea who these people are, but I am not going to let that stop me from posting this shit. The reason I started this site wasn’t to post about shitty celebrities I don’t give a fuck about, I just did it cuz it was easier than going out on the street with a camera trying to convince random chicks to pull stunts in their underwear, so as the months turned into the years, I slowly became a celebrity site, and since I never had an interest in celebrity, I’ve never really been able to spot them, remember their names, or keep track of what they are in, so this motherfucker could be a fuckin’ star for all I know, and I’m only posting this post because of his girlfriend’s shitty fuckin’ implants.

Now I get why a skinny flat chested girl would get a set of tits. They were teased all their lives and they are tired of fuckin’ with their t-shirts on. They are tired of being insecure from not being able to accept being less of a woman. They tell their friends they wanted them cuz so clothes fit them better, but in reality, it’s cuz they are feel inadequate and think it will be the key to happiness, so they get the shit done on a budget, cuz that’s all they can afford and are desperate to end the pain that comes every nice summer day when they are too shy to get into a bikini, not knowing the aftermath will be two offensively round, hard bullshit tits that look about as real as my Gucci sunglasses that I got in China Town for 2 dollars and that say Gusshy on the shits….if you know what I mean….

Alanis Morisette is Disgusting on the Beach of the Day

Tuesday, May 12th, 2009

I remember the day I found out about Alanis Morisette. I was visiting a high school friend of mine who had moved away for college, while I was mooching off him and his parents and lived on his couch for a couple of days, in hopes of fucking all the college girls, which never seemed to happen.

He was out for the day and I went over to his CD Player and pushed play because I was drinking and wanted something to set the mood. That “Isn’t it Ironic” song came on from her album jagged little pill, and within about half a second I was dying of fucking laughter.

This hood motherfucker who used to sell me weed and introduced me to amazing punk bands and hip hop artists was listening to Alanis Morisette. Amazing.

When he got back to the apartment I had no choice but to get to the bottom of it, I asked if he was dating a girl who may have left her music in his CD Player, he said no, when I pulled out the Morisette, he didn’t even try to cover it up, he just said that shit spoke to him. I called him a fag, laughed at him about it, told some of our mutual friends and got on with my life, knowing I could never be friends with someone who listened to Alanis Morisette, and last I heard, as I had expected, he is happily gay and living in an arist loft somewhere.

Since then, Alanis has come in and out of my life a few times, all of which were uninvited. I always found her disgusting to look at, and knowing that not only did she turn my friend gay, but also every single man who has ever slept with her, except maybe Ryan Reynolds, who went on to marry Scarlett Johansson, who for the rest of her life has to deal with the fact that her dick was inside of this fuckin’ pig. Let’s hope it was for a career move.

Here she is at the beach.

Leighton Meester is in a Bikini on the Beach of the Day

Monday, May 11th, 2009


I saw these pictures earlier, but had no idea who this bitch is, so I didn’t bother posting them, then I realized that everyone fucking posted them and in trying to fit in with other celebrity sites, because they are run by fuckin’ cool people that don’t make me feel uncomfortable, or awkward or a little nervous about their social skills, that exude cool and never desperation as they talk about breasts in a way that makes me believe they may or may not have ever seen a set.

Either way, here she is, next time I’ll let the bikini do the talking and I won’t ignore any bitch who is wearing one. I failed you. Get used to it.

Hot Old Mom Pussy on the Beach of the Day

Friday, May 8th, 2009

Nothing says “I Love You Mom” like taking her hot pussy you crawled out of to the beach for a little getaway. It is really the least you can do for ruining her sex appeal and vagina and forcing her to choose you over the good life.

Here’s the dude from Grey’s Anatomy doin’ just that, because without his mother, he wouldn’t be alive and I am sure in his mind, that would be a great tragedy, you know since he probably thinks that he’s left a huge impact on us through popular Thursday night programming…

I can’t wait for the bikini pics hit…I’m hoping she’s giving up on life or at least on dignity enough to get topless…but these pics of her strutting like she wants to fuck are good enough to get me motivated to start drinkin a little extra hard today….

Here is the Grey’s Anatomy Dude Hustlin’ Girls, Because Only Girls Watch His Faggot Ass Show, While His Mother’s Off Being a Slut

Victoria Silvstedt’s Tits in the Sun of the Day

Tuesday, May 5th, 2009

Victoria Silvstedt is the enemy because she tried to sue me for posting pics of her getting eaten out by a midget, I am not fuckin’ joking, and unfortunately, I don’t have those pictures anymore and don’t think they are anywhere to be found on the internet, but I do know that despite all the trouble she’s caused me, I still think she’s hot and I can’t help but let her whore ass back on my site, even though I know I shouldn’t bother with her. Again, the internet immitates reality, you know because I still let my fat wife in my bed despite hating her, I mean sure, she paid for the bed and the rent and I am the freeloader, but as the man, that makes me the boss.


If you want to see her in a bikini, you’ll have to follow this link, and see it on this site, because I don’t have access to the shit
GO

Tamara Mellon’s Still on the Beach and She’s Pickin’ Her Ass of the Day

Monday, April 6th, 2009

I am bored of this Tamara Mellon bitch. I gave her love. I wrote she was a hot 40 year old multi-millionaire, designer shoe owning motherfucker. I gave her credit for not being a typical whore wallet fucking groupie and I said she had a hot tight little ass I’d like to explore like some kind of South Pole expedition in the 1940s and she never reached out, she never emailed me, she never said “hey thanks for not rippin on me despite wanting to rip me apart with your sex toy collection and other household objects”, so I am posting pictures of her picking her ass like she was the poor kid I went to school with who always had black fingers and smelled like shit, who was constant in his ass pickin’ because he didn’t have access to toilet paper because that was one of life’s luxuries and because he had some kind of ass worms from his poor hygiene, when he was probably the last person who could afford ass worms or any parasite for that matter, because his daily diet consisted of a chocolate bar.

fsd



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