Cindy Margolis claims to be the most downloaded girl on the internet, because she was one of the first sluts not get naked and use the internet to promote herself and I just don’t believe that there is much truth to her claims, but she does have big tits so I could be wrong.

I met a pretty ridiculously downloaded girl the other day and I had trouble making eye contact with her because her upper body was that of an anorexic and her hips, ass and legs were so fuckin’ big that when she bent over I thought I was lookin’ at my wife. She was obese from the waist down and normal from the waist up and it looked like some kind of mythical creature I didn’t want to fuck. I was telling people around me that she had bad genes, but not the Levis kind, because whatever pants she had on had to be magical to fit that insanely disgustingly big ass. It was a funnier play on words when I said it, but since I hate that kind of humor, I’ll end my story about the downloaded girl I met here….

But I will tell you a story about being the biggest creep on the internet, almost officially. Sure I am not a sexual predator or anything, but with my 12 readers, I like to think I’ve made progress in sexualization of women and making them feel like pieces of meat. I even carried it over into my everyday life the other day when I was sitting down for a coffee and unintentionally chose the seat facing two hot teenage girls in low cut shirts, despite there being about 50 open places in the coffee shop that didn’t face the girls. It’s kinda the same situation as when a fag walks up next to you in the public bathroom and pees next to you, when there are 8 other urinals available. Anyway, as I was staring at their teenage tits, they got all uncomfortable and left before I had a chance to expose myself to them. It was a real disappointment, Oprah told me teenagers are sluts, but the truth is they are just cock teases like they always have been.

Speaking of cockteases, here’s Cindy Margolis, a woman who made her career by cock teasing guys into registering to her site in hopes she would get naked…and who never did get naked, until she was the least downloaded girl on the internet and had to Get Naked In Playboy to make an attempt at a comeback despite it being long past her expiry date……Either way, Look at her tits.

I saw a girl the other day who had absolutely no ass. She wasn’t anorexic and she wasn’t so fat shit was buried in her thighs. She was just totally average in size and was wearing leggings leaving little to my imagination which turned out to be too bad because when I got to staring at her shit, my imagination would have made things better but instead I was stuck trying to figure out where she shits from, or what she sits on, because her legs turned into back without anything in between and it looked fucking mutant to me.

I got to talking to the teenage girl next to me who about it because she caught me staring and told me that she thought shit was strange too and she went on a rant about how she would rather have a Kim Kardashian sized ass that makes shopping for jeans impossible even if it meant having to have sex black men for the rest of her life, I thought that was a pretty bold statement because Kardashian’s ass is disgustingly big and makes her look like a lazy slob and I asked her to stand up and show me what she was dealing with and she refused.

About 5 minutes later a black dude showed up and sat next to her and they started making out, so I guess that was her boyfriend and she’s already getting black cock and Kim Kardashian’s ass is something she holds on a pedistole, like something she wishes she had to better please her man and all the men to come her way since they’ll all be black. Teenage girls are such whores. I blame hip hop. We’re all going to hell.

Here are some pictures of Brooke Hogan joggin in a sports bra, because she’s trying to maintain her massive body and fake tit figure. It takes a lot of work to turn yourself from a fat girl with no tits, a curse worse than death to becoming a big girl with a washboard stomach and fake tits.

I was at some shitty bar in another city the other day and it turned out that everyone in the place was a useless fucking loser. The girls were disgusting but thought they had it going on and the dudes who were getting bottle service were all old married men who thought buying bottles would score these pieces of trash, when in reality all dude needed to do was offer to take these whores to McDonald’s or shit because they were low budget.

I ended up checking out some tall broad bitch with no ass but broad shoulders and ripped muscular arms. She had shitty hair extensions and looked like Brooke Hogan with a penis. There was no way bitch wasn’t a dude in women’s clothing, but the older married bottle service dude was just so happy that some younger “girl” was showing interest in him and was blinded by the attention and didn’t notice she was really a he. So as this drunken dude tried making out with her while getting a lap dance from her, he thought he was balling and years of hard work in middle-management paid off without realizing the girl on his dick wasn’t a girl and I thought about putting on a dress to get free booze too, because I am pretty accommodating for free booze, but realized that my natural man tits wouldn’t get the kind of attention I deserve.