Who the fuck is Jessica Stroup? Why is she famous, or at least famous enough to be on the paparazzi sites, and why is she posing for pictures with some weird lookin’ girls who probably don’t deserve to be laughed at and who are probably still glowin’with excitement from being in the right place and right time allowing them to meet this whore, only to have a prick like me degrade them and their experience on the internet, fuckin’ with their self-esteem and raining on their parade…all in hopes that they turn into Craigslist whores, becaue Craigslist whores are the best deal on the internet.
Here is further evidence that girls are gold diggers, because I have seen that Everyone Loves Raymond show and shit made me want to kill myself, and not in a good way, like I want to do the world a favor and end my existance, but in a horribly savage way that involves heavy pain, and slow death, because the world is a horrible fucking place that produces this kind of garbage, but for some reason he’s managed to get Pussy….and I bet it has a whole lot to do with his bank account and not so much his work on that show….and if I find out that women would watch him in action and touch themselves…I may take myself up on that whole painful suicide plan, but for now it’s up in the fuckin’ air…
There’s something nice about girls who wear bikini tops instead of bras, it’s like they are prepared for something that none of us are in on, whether it be a flash flood, or maybe an emergency situation that involves saving a drowning kid from a public pool, or a dying pigeon in a fountain, or why ever the fuck else you’d wear a bikini to get your nails done and I’m not complaining, because I like bikinis, just not on me, they make me look fat, but so does pretty much everything else, including leaving the house.
I have no idea who Ashley Green is but you can google the shit as well as I can, probably even better, since my computer has aids, so it will give you something to do. You’re welcome.
I know part of you wants to knock up the first bitch who comes your way so that she can never fuckin’ leave you and you won’t have to be alone anymore, but seriously, after lookin’ at these Coleen Rooney pics, you’ll realize that it’s a bad fuckin’ idea, but then again, any girl you land will probably already look like she’s pregnant, because you can only attract the lonely fat ones, who don’t need your contribution, I mean other than for the whole pregnancy to force you to stay with them for the rest of their fat bitch life as to not feel alone, and I guess that makes you motherfuckers soul mates….
Lohan’s birthday party wasn’t hosted by me, like it probably should have been, I mean if she wanted shit to be a little less cheesy and a lot more homeless, but I guess when you do it in Vegas, cheesy is totally what you’re into, and when you’re Lohan, so is drugs and other girl’s vaginas, I mean not that I know that for a fact, because she’s playing to cool to answer my fuckin’ emails that I’ve been sending her the last 2 weeks and shit is breaking my fuckin’ heart, but not as much as seeing her in this bikini that looks like it can’t give me a boner, even if i was railing lines of Viagra all fuckin’ day….maybe it’s got somehting to the swollen vagina in her bikini bottoms that looks like it is throbbing, pulsating, convulsing, and ready to attack, suffocate and murder a motherfucker that it crosses paths with….
I don’t know what I am doing today because of this hangover, but I do know that everyone is still talking about Michael Jackson, at least everyone in the bar last night was, like it was some kind of huge shocker, considering dude hasn’t looked like a corpse the last decade, you know cuz his African American skin color didn’t die a long time ago, and that series of skin bleaching insanity he went through in the 80s, probably had nothing to do with the painfulskin cancer he was dealing with, so in celebration of his black skin, here’s a couple black people on the beach in Barbados, and I’m lovin’ the girl this footballer is with, because I pretty much love all black girls, they just don’t love me.
This is what an ass that has had 8 kids looks like in a bikini….I was gonna say that 8 is only the number of kids she has, but all the number of asses she’s got, but realized that didn’t make sense, and was just a bad sloppy ass joke.
I guess she’s trying to get her stock up because makin’ millions off TLC wasn’t enough for her and now that she’s been on the cover of every tabloid, she’s gotta keep things up, because I hear when you’ve manipulated your way to that level, the interest starts dippin’ off, you gotta pull another stunt.
That said, John and Kate Plus 8 will be comin’ out as a lesbian in the next few weeks, and in a few months the lesbian video comes out, and in the next few years no one will even remember who she is.
Sienna Miller is some home wrecking washed up party slut who managed to get a couple of movies and here she is in a white bikini trying to trick us all into thinking that she’s pure, but I’m pretty sure if you found those bottoms on your bedroom floor after fuckin her, you’d find a green stain that would make you regret what you did the night before. I don’t really know waht I am talking about, but I assume Sienna Miller’s fucked enough dudes that her pussy oozes space shit and that’s all I have to say about that cuz I have better things to do than this, like finger bang the girl sitting next to me at McDonald’s. Sure she’s 80, but that just means she will probably invite me over for some backed goods.
Fuck yourself.
Here’s some Stuff by Hilary Duff that I guess she’s been accumulating in the event of famine striking so that she can “live off the land” for a couple extra days, you know like she’s using her stomach as it’s very own emergency food pantry or backpack filled with supplies, in the event of a nuclear strike or natural disaster, or maybe it’s just her own way to pad herself naturally to survice those Hockey Locker Room Gangbang her boyfriend puts her thru after every game to build team morale, but I have a feeling it’s got more to do with her being lazy, settling down and gettin’ older cuz guess what, she’s not 16 anymore and I’m sure that hurts all of your deeper than I can really understand. Perverts.
I love watching dogs sniff women’s pussies. I used to know this half retarded/half psycho kid who trained his dog to sniff pussy and when the dog would do it to strangers, he’d point and scream shit like “you’re on the rag” and shit like that and I’d always get a laugh as the elderly woman, who clearly wasn’t on the rag walked away in confusion, but a little flattered that someone would suggest she wasn’t a dried up old cunt.
In these pictures the dogs are chasing Winehouse and it is not because she has her period, or because that weird dude trained them to do it, but because she smells like rotting flesh and dog’s love rotting meat and apparently with the kind of women I can seduce (afford), so do I.
So here’s some Winehouse in her bikini top showing the world how she maintains her trim figure with exercise because she’s a fuckin’ athlete in athletic apparel and not by being a drug addict…
I know you probably still care about Denise Richards because you have a hard time letting go. You remember 10 years ago as being the glory day, because you were still in college and had your whole life ahead of you, your friends were always down to party, and this bitch was your celebrity fantasy, but that all went sour when you realized that you had to take a shitty job to pay your student loan, one you can’t stomach going to and everyday you feel like part of you dies a little, but for some reason you can’t leave because you can’t find anything better, you married the chick from the bar you used to fuck because you realized that you had no other real option and that she was probably the best you could do for yourself, even though everyday you tell her you love her, you’re lying and know that you can’t stand her and the fact that she’s tricked you into this fuckin’ life you live, but at least you always have Denise Richards fantasies to get you off, until pricks like me come along and show you that life hasn’t been all too friendly to her either giving you some comfort in other people’s misery, but really just taking away the last good thing you have from your youth.
Here she is in a bikini top and shorts cuz she hates her ass and rockin’ some kind of parrot like she’s a pirate because I guess in her scam of a career, she kinda is one.
Not sure what’s going on here but I assume Katie Price is doing her breast exercises, you know the ones the plastic surgeon prescribes you after you get your tits jacked the fuck up, so that your shit doesn’t get hard and awkward lookin, forcing you to massage them daily, to soften the silicone, the prescription that strippers love, because they are lettin’ dudes grab their tits for 10 dollars a song anyway, so now there’s an actual rationale behind their mild cockteasing prostitution, but when you’re in the process of filing for divorce after married to a gay dude, you are forced to do that shit yourself, and when you’re an exhibitionist slut, you do it out in public by the pool.
Point of the story is that her body is fuckin’ weird….but I’m still lookin’ at it….
I read something about Denise Richards having downsized her tits because her D-Cups were too ridiculous for her size 0 frame, but the sad thing that she didn’t realize was that her D-Cups were the only reason she was getting work, so killin off her tits, was directly responsible for killin’ off her career, but the good news for her is that she can ride off of Charlie Sheen’s money, that’s what getting knocked up by a rich dude is all about at least that is what this gay dude who wanted to get me pregnant told me, but I knew he was up to something cuz I don’t have a uterus.
I used to want to fuck Tea Leoni, now…not so much. I dont know what it was that I liked about her at the time, it was awhile ago, but I know that it’s got less to do with her arms being jacked like she’s got a fuckin’ dick and more to do with knowing that she can’t keep her man sexually satsified, forcing him to develop a sex and porn addiction and publicly embarrassing him by sharing that with the world as some kind of punishment for how badly he’s hurt her when she found out, while the real punishment started by being married to a cunt who was too busy doing pushups to fuck proper. Here she is in a bikini.
Here’s some Jewel showing off her doughy body and floppy tits, a lot of people like this look, especially gay cowboys who have spent their lives riding bulls and lookin for something familiar to ride into the sunset on.
It turns out that even normal dudes to, I guess it’s cuz chubby chicks reek of estrogen and we are genetically coded to hunt and seek out the fertile ones….or some shit.
